Embrace Your Messiness

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of The Daring Adventure. I am excited to talk to you today about being a mess. And I am actually drafting my weekly newsletter, which goes out every Monday. It's Monday Mindset. If you want to get on the mailing list, I will include that in the show notes. Every Monday I send out a little blurb that gives you some inspiration and some tips and something to think about. Anyway, so my Monday newsletter This week is about being a mess, and I thought actually that this could be a great podcast episode. So I'm going to elaborate a little bit here, and so it will be published later in the week. So the idea is that basically we're all a mess, and I was thinking about some of the things I had done and experienced in my past and Where I am today and feeling like things shouldn't be the way they are and that somehow I have made a mistake and I've made messes and somehow that, I am. not supposed to be this way. And I know this happens a lot with my clients as well. I hear them talk all the time about things that they've done, things that they've said, things that they felt and that They shouldn't have, and that somehow it means that there's something wrong with them, and that they, just something has gone wrong, that there's something flawed about them, and it shouldn't be this way, and the thing is that this is exactly how it's supposed to be, and this is our human experience, and the human experience, human beings are not perfect. We will never be perfect. We have a human brain that has primitive drives, desires, instincts that do affect us in such a profound way that we have no idea. And We will continue to experience ourselves and life and others in this way, that it's never ever going to be perfect. And no one's experience is going to be perfect. And I just wanted to say that you are a mess, you're human, and that's okay. And... The world and life is a mess and that's okay too. And it doesn't mean that we don't try to do things differently. And it doesn't mean that we don't try to change things and continue to strive to make improvements and to make things better. But what it means is that we can let go of this idea that it should be different than it is, that something has gone wrong, and that can be different, but to approach that difference and making changes from a place of abundance and from hope and from positivity and from knowing that this is part of the reason why we're here. As a human species to try and see what is possible for us and a part of that is to make things better for ourselves, for others, for future generations. And so I want to urge you to drop the idea that things have somehow gone wrong. It's somehow that there's something wrong with you and that there's something wrong with the world and that being a mess is somehow a mistake and that we should be living up to this ideal that we have in our heads that has never existed and has never been possible and that is not something that serves us on a day to day basis because we are using it to make ourselves feel less than. And nothing good will come from that. It does not serve us. It does not make us feel good. And when you know it doesn't make you feel good, when you experience that, then you know that it's not going to drive you to sustainably and in the long term do better, think better, feel better. I also want to urge you to think that we have choices. And if you find yourself in a situation, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job, whether it's a purchase, whether it's any sort of decision where you feel like You have landed up in a place because you have done something wrong or something not well enough, it's not final. And, in fact, wherever you are, your experience of it is a choice. And it may not feel like that in the moment, and it may not feel easy. And it's not supposed to necessarily be easy, but knowing that where you are in your experience, in your situation is always a choice. And I find that when I remember that, and when I think that I have made choices to be wherever I am today, and that I have a choice to change that, it gives me a little bit of space. It gives me a certain feeling of ease. And I know then that I have the power. It's not the circumstance that has the power, but I am taking back my power. I may not choose something differently. I may not make any changes immediately, but that's okay. It's that sense that again, nothing has gone wrong. I am here because I have made choices and I can change, do something different, change my circumstances because I have choices. That's the choices that we've made that got us here and it's the choices that we make that we can change our situation or experience is key and that's what coaching is to me, and that's why it's so important and such powerful work that we can do is that we see that we have different opportunities. We have the ability to have different experiences. And we can have a different paradigm for how we experience the world. And that it doesn't mean that anything has to be perfect. It doesn't mean that it has to be. super amazing, great. It just means that we have this power and we've always had it. We just sometimes forget and we weren't taught this. And so it's getting back to that understanding that again, our experience and The way we think about it, the way we feel about it, the way we act is completely up to us and that we have this responsibility. We have the ability to make changes and to think and feel and do differently. And we have the responsibility to do and when we do that's when everything changes. We change. And therefore the world around us and the world as we experience changes it. It's very powerful and this is what I try to teach and share with my clients. And this is what I work on for myself every single day. I don't need to change the external circumstances of my life. Everything is internal. And therefore, when I make changes externally, it's because I want to, it's because I make that choice. It's because it might be fun. It might be interesting. It might be for my growth and my development, but it's not because some, I think something has gone wrong and that there's a problem and that I need to change it to make myself happy. And one of the best things we can do to start understanding this process and to start to Make changes within is to have this awareness and to catch ourselves when we start to think A, that we are a mess, B, that something has gone wrong, and C, that we don't have any power over it, because none of those things are true. We're human, we're messy, nothing has gone wrong. You are exactly where you're supposed to be, and you always have a choice and the power to think, to feel, and to do things differently. Once you realize that, once you have that awareness, nothing will be the same again. Just having that awareness starts to shift things for you, and that's the beginning of the work that we do. Be a mess.. It's okay. You're human. You're always going to be human. Your human brain is always going to do that to you. That's going to be our experience. Nothing is perfect. Nothing needs to be perfect. Embrace the mess. Embrace who you are, regardless of what's gone on in your life and where you find yourself and what you think is wrong with you. Because I promise you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're not doing it wrong. And every woman that I talk to tends to feel the same way. And my belief is that all seem to think this way about ourselves, it can't be true. It cannot be true. It is not true. You're doing it right. And if you want to make changes, if you want to do better, if you want to do things differently because you want to see what you're capable of, you want to see what's possible for your life, then I'm your coach. And if you want to try coaching for yourself, the link to my calendar is in the show notes. Click on the link. Pick a date and time that suits you and let's talk you can find out what it's like to be coached Get coached on any issue that you wish and let's talk about my three month program And how I can help you to start to make those shifts to take your power back to start to see How amazing your life can be. Alright, that's what I have for you today everybody. Thank you so much for joining me Have a great week. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again. As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us on Apple podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.