Overcome Overwhelm

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of This Daring Adventure. This is episode 47, and it's all about overcoming overwhelm.

I did a newsletter the other week about feeling overwhelmed and if you haven't subscribed to my email list you should do so.

I send out a weekly Monday Mindset newsletter and just giving little tidbits of advice and skills and tools that you can use to move yourself forward and overcome certain issues And I will put the link in the show notes for that if you want to sign up.

And so, for this particular email, I addressed overwhelm and I got some really positive feedback and if you're listening and you want to provide feedback to any of the episodes, I love hearing from you.

So thank you very much to those who do send in emails. I read them all myself and I really appreciate it and I thought I would elaborate a little bit more on.

Overcoming overwhelm and why it happens and, and how we can address it because overwhelm is one of those things that is an indulgent emotion. It keeps us stuck. It keeps us in a victim mode.

And so the quicker we can move ourselves out of that, the better. Because it's one of those emotions that doesn't serve us, keeps us stuck, keeps us in the same place, not moving forward, not taking action, not showing up in the way that we want.

And I want to be clear as we begin that feeling overwhelmed comes from what we are thinking. It does not come from your circumstance. It does not come from what's going on around you or how long your to do list is. It is us having a thought that we have a lot to do, that we have too much to do, that there's too much going on, that we're too busy, that we have this really long to do list, there's not enough time in the day to get it all done, and then we argue with reality, thinking that there shouldn't be so much to do, we can't do it.

You know, it's not fair. And then this is what creates the feeling of overwhelm. It's not the circumstance. It's not how many items you have on your to do list. It's not the number of things that you need to get done. Whether it's on a deadline or it's self imposed, it is created by your thoughts. You have a thought that there's too much to do, then you create that feeling of overwhelm.

And then as a result, you probably are tensing up. You could be yelling, you could be complaining, you could be withdrawing, you could be freezing and not taking any action. it's really important to realize and it's good news because you realize that you are the creator of this feeling of overwhelm so you can solve it and it's not by reducing the number of things that you have to do, although it helps to prioritize and it helps to get the most important things done and then table the rest.

But the first, you. is you want to drop the resistance to what is going on because We have this thought that it shouldn't be like this and we start arguing with reality. And when you argue with reality, you're going to lose. And you're spending a lot of time and energy thinking that it shouldn't be the way it is.

So the first thing is you definitely just want to drop that arguing with reality. If you have a list of things that you need to get done for your kids or your work or whatever it is, your business, don't argue. with it and think that it should be different than it is.

Oftentimes, what I will do is think, I have things to do. I will tell myself I can handle it. I will tell myself I can get the most important things done. I will tell myself that there is always plenty of time. I've got this. I am safe. And This will pass. And these thoughts, I find, help me to move into ease, and they help me to feel more capable, and they release some of that pressure, and they release some of that tension.

And I can slow down. And when I slow down, and I focus on what is most important, and I focus on knowing that there is plenty of time, I can focus my brain then on what I need to accomplish and what I need to do next and how I can move myself forward. It's always helpful to take a pause, take a deep breath. When you are feeling overwhelmed, you are affecting your nervous system.

And then you are in fight or flight or you're freezing and your prefrontal cortex has gone offline. And so you're not able to think clearly and rationally. if you can slow down, take a pause, allow for the overwhelm, and breathe, and let it to start dissipate.

Also, it helps to know that there will be busy periods in your life. Some will be busier than others. Sometimes you will have more to do than others, and that's okay. You can maybe expect it. Expect that these things are going to happen. There are going to be these periods in our lives. And it's okay. Nothing has gone wrong. And they never last forever. It could be a phase, it could be a season, but it doesn't last. remember just to drop the resistance, don't argue with reality, allow for feeling overwhelmed, but don't try to fight against what's going on. Take time to pause, take time to breathe, focus, bring your prefrontal cortex back online, remind yourself that you have plenty of time, that you can get the most important things done. And generate that feeling of ease and of capability in you.

As I said at the beginning, overwhelm is not necessary. It does not serve any purpose. So, there may be things going on. You have to be mindful of your thoughts about them and they are either going to serve you or they're going to overwhelm you. And all of this makes sense in the grand scheme of things because we do have a lot more options and choices and information that our brain is processing on a daily basis.

When you think about how we have evolved and where we came from, the amount of choices And options and information that our brain is now faced with on a day to day basis. Never mind that just an hour or, five minutes that you're scrolling on social media. It is much more than ever before.

Previously, it was a lot more simple. It's a lot simpler for our brains. We didn't have so many choices. Eat plants, don't eat plants. Eat meat, don't eat meat, eat the berries, don't eat the berries.

But now we have a lot more options and it. It, it is more demanding on our brains. I remember I used to, when I, when I first started working overseas and I was in Angola, and this is going back in 2003, and I was out in the bush, and In the middle of nowhere with no stores, nothing, we had to package up our food and send it out with us and I would come home on vacation and just be overwhelmed in the grocery store with the options and if you think about cereal or cookies or crackers or whatever it is, the options are massive.

And you stand there in front and everything's very colorful and there's lots of pictures and, you know, all of the things and you look at it and I was just like paralyzed. I guess I froze just looking at all of the options trying to make a decision.

And so our brain is confronted like this every single day, and it's not as pronounced when we do see it every day, but it's still a lot. So it makes sense that your reaction. With a number of responsibilities, with a number of chores, with a number of things you need to get done, that, you know, your brain starts to panic a little bit and it starts to think, I can't do this. It's too much. But the important thing is that you manage your mind. You're training your brain to focus because it will get overwhelming. If you allow it to think about all the social media and the apps and the TV and the news and the information, it's not you. It is the society that we're living in now.

Knowing that you can refocus your brain and train it when it starts to get overwhelmed. And allowing your thoughts to go to like, it's too much, I can't do this. It shouldn't be like this. That's when your brain is operating on autopilot. And if you can gain that awareness that that's what's going on, and then bring it back, which is a skill, it's a skill that you have to learn to refocus it, but it is something that you can learn and become better at.

So, making decisions. Sometimes it helps to make decisions ahead of time.

For instance... Going to the supermarket to make a decision about what food I'm going to buy, if it's the cereal, I know I'm, you know, not going to buy anything with too much sugar, and it has to have high in fiber, and it's not going to be like a dessert. So I've constrained some of the decisions that I need to make. I know I'm not going to buy any juice. I know I'm going to buy only organic produce. Whatever it is, you can make some of those decisions ahead of time to help constrain and not to bombard your brain with, with too many decisions and then undisciplined thoughts. It's important to realize that this is not going to change anytime soon.

The amount of information, all the, the choices that we have to make, it's not going to change. it's better for us to learn how to get our brains off of autopilot and gain that awareness and build that skill of, of refocusing it. And the good news is that everything is figureoutable.

We can train our brains, we can learn new things, and we can rewire our brains. This is all that we've learned with neuroplasticity. We can rewire, we can learn new things. It is possible. remember that overwhelm is just keeping you stuck. It's an indulgent emotion. It's not necessary. It's not serving you. But it is easy for your brain, and it will be comfortable for your brain. It just will default to the negative. It likes to just keep things easy, and complaining, and feeling overwhelmed, and feeling, and being stuck is easy for your brain. as I said earlier, if you can minimize some of your decisions, make them ahead of time.

You can always change your mind after, or later if you need to. But just reassure your brain that it's safe and that you can make decisions and, and change your mind later. But really try and develop that awareness and catch yourself when it starts to go off, when it starts to panic, when it starts to offer you thoughts that you can't handle this and that it's too much.

The important thing is to remember that you don't have to believe everything that your brain tells you.

You will be thinking up to 60, 000 thoughts a day your brain is going to offer you a lot of crappy thoughts You don't have to believe any of it.

You don't have to act on any of it. You always have a choice You have a choice as to what you want to tell it to think and what you want it to focus on.

Don't allow it just to go on to Autopilot.

Another great way to focus your brain is by, by figuring out what are the facts of the situation and what is the drama that it's your brain is adding.

Sometimes if you can list, okay, what exactly is on my to do list? What exactly are the most important things I need to get done here? What exactly are the facts of this situation that I'm in? And then what is all the drama that my brain is adding in, that it's too much, that I can't get it done, that it's, I'll never finish it, whatever it is, but separate those out and you'll be able to get a little bit of perspective. It will give you some space to see that your brain really does like to. amp up the drama and add a lot of color and details that just aren't serving you. You want to really ask yourself what is going to help and what's not going to help. Guaranteed, adding in all that drama is not going to help. Instead, You want to commit to being positive and staying focused on what's most important and what's going to move you forward.

Decide how you want to experience this situation and how you want to show up. How do you want to handle this? How do you want to maybe set an example for your colleagues, your family, your children, whoever it is?

Remind yourself that getting stressed and feeling overwhelmed serves no purpose. So just constrain your decisions, decide what you want to focus on, focus your brain. Don't let it run off with all these thoughts that it's too much, that you're too busy, that you're exhausted, that you can't handle it, that you're never going to get it done, that there's not enough time. That is really just you in a victim mode and it does not serve you. Watch how you speak to yourself and watch how you speak to others about it. Stick to the facts. Don't add in all the drama because that will make you feel overwhelmed, for sure. It will make you feel terrible. It will keep you stuck. You have a choice how you want to think about your situation, how you want to feel in that situation, and how you want to show up.

Don't let your brain take over. You have to manage your mind or it will manage you.

You always have a choice, so you don't have to be a victim and give in to the confusion and the overwhelm.

All right, that's what I have for you today.

Thank you so much for tuning in.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, if you are interested in learning more about how to focus your mind, train your brain, get unstuck. I have a three month transformative coaching program that will help you to get unstuck and Move yourself forward again. You want to learn how to make decisions drop the regret, Decide what you want move yourself forward learn how to improve your relationships not just with others, but with yourself and you create the life that you truly want. And all of this is possible with the help of a coach. It takes practice. It takes work. You learn lots of tools and skills and I can help you with all of this.

If you're curious about learning more, if you want to try coaching for yourself, there's a link in the show notes for you to get on my calendar. I invite you to try a one hour coaching session.

This is a private one to one coaching session with me.

Come, let's talk about what's going on for you.

You can try coaching for yourself and then I will tell you a little bit about my coaching program. 

I promise you will leave with something actionable, an actionable step you can use to take forward and use immediately to help you start getting unstuck.

If you have a moment to rate, review, share, and subscribe this podcast, I would greatly appreciate it.

Otherwise, I will talk to you next week.

Take care, everybody. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to this daring adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us on Apple podcasts.

Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.