Better than before

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Tri

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. I'm Trista, and today I want to have an honest conversation with the women who are telling themselves I'm better than I used to be, and that's enough. If that's you, this episode is a bit of a wake up call because I know. Better than before. Sounds positive, right? We should be happy with that, but it can quietly keep you stuck. And so I want to unpack why and what to do next. I think better than before, becomes a bit of a comfort cage. Think about a time you made progress. Maybe you stopped beating yourself up, maybe you lost some weight, maybe you set a boundary, and at first, that's huge win. Of course. Absolutely. But it can turn into a bit of a trap because you'll start telling yourself, I'm better than I was, so it's okay if I stay here. And it feels gentle and it feels loving and it feels cozy, but it's really a subtle form of self abandonment. You stop asking, what do I really want now? And what can I do? What can I accomplish? And you tolerate some buffering, overeating over scrolling, overworking over drinking, and you normalize a life that isn't the wine. You came here to live, you got partway, but you didn't go all the way. When you stay in better than before, your brain gets to relax. It whispers, don't rock the boat. Let's glide. That's how a year passes and nothing changes. So let's be brutally honest and clear about the cost of staying here. If you keep settling for better than before your goals stall. That business you want to launch the weight you want to release, the creative project you dream about, it stays a someday idea. Your confidence erodes every time you break a promise to yourself. You teach your brain that your word doesn't matter. And then your future shrinks. You start designing a smaller life to match what you're currently tolerating. This can happen quickly, and it can happen unconsciously. And I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm saying it because the quiet pain of staying the same is far greater than the temporary discomfort of change. Here's the necessary solution. It requires loving commitment, not hustle, not self-criticism, loving commitment. That means you define the real problem, not I'm buffering, or I'm numbing myself out, or I'm putting something off, or I'm stuck. The truth is I'm avoiding my feelings. I'm avoiding feeling my feelings. Then you decide who you want to be next, your future self, and you take yourself seriously enough to act as her to today. Don't put it off another minute. Another minute turns into tomorrow, and then next week, and then next month, and then next year. I have done it myself enough. We've all done it. And you want to honor your commitments even when you don't feel like it. And that takes work. It takes persistence, it takes effort, but it isn't punishment. It's self respect on the calendar, and we need to shift the way we're thinking and looking at this. There are some immediate action steps you can take. Step one is to complete a 24 hour plan. Which means tonight you decide in advance what tomorrow looks like, and this is a game changer. This is what I've used for my business to get things done. I need to decide the night before and be very clear about what I'm gonna do, and then I stick to it. Your plan can include what will you eat, what will you drink, what three things will you complete for yourself or your work? Write it down from a place of love. This again, is not punishment, it's not restriction. It's love with a view to who you wanna become, what you wanna create, what you want your life to look like. Step two is to feel instead of buffer or numb yourself. Urges will come up. Expect them. Know they're coming, but when it does show up, whether it's for food or wine, or endless scrolling or lying on the couch and watching Netflix, catch yourself. Be aware of what's going on. Name the emotion. Allow it, breathe into it. Be with it for 90 seconds and allow it to move through your body like a wave. That's it. It will pass through you, but you will need to experience that urge and allow it, because the resistance is what makes it persist and pushing it away and telling yourself you shouldn't feel like that, only prolongs it. Step three is to evaluate with curiosity. Tomorrow night review. What worked? What did you do well? Where did you negotiate? Where did you give in? No drama, just data. See where you are? Don't beat yourself up. Just see. And then you repeat daily s, evaluate, and then plan for the next day. And this builds self-trust faster than any willpower challenge. When you can do that, you are in fact building that relationship with yourself, it's a skill and it's something that you become better at and stronger at as you continue to do that work. If you can do that work, then you might be starting today with going for a walk for 10 minutes tomorrow on your plan. But as you become better at it, then you could be setting a plan for walking for an hour and having a salad and starting a blog. Your ability to level up and to grow and to evolve starts here. It starts with this plan, and it starts with learning how to keep your word to yourself and experience your emotions and manage your urges. That's it. There are no secrets. This is not something that only certain people can do. It's a practice. You take it a little bit at a time and you start to grow that muscle and you start to get better at it. It's okay if you're starting from square one. Just start now today, and then you just keep going. So if you are ready to stop living in better than before and actually create the life you keep picturing, I will help you do it. Your first option is to book a private consultation for one-to-one coaching. This is powerful life-changing work that gets you unstuck for good. The second option is to join my brand new coaching community. You redefined. You can try it for seven days for free. And when you choose the annual membership for $179, you get two and a half months for free. Inside you will find live coaching tools, a private podcast, so many tools and skills that you can. With my support and the support of the others in the community, apply it to your life and start to get unstuck. Now, if you do purchase one-to-one coaching, you get automatic access to this coaching community. It's a phenomenal deal. Overdelivering. It's a no-brainer. You want to check this out. Come join us. Let's do the work. That changes everything. You don't have to stay stuck. And listen, if you could please take 30 seconds to rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your review isn't just a kind word. It is how other women right now find the courage to change their lives too. Help someone else find this podcast and be the reason someone else gets stuck today. I would so appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. And remember better than before is not your finish line. You have a future to create a future self who is waiting and you can create anything extraordinary that you want. So let's go. I'll talk to you next week.