Brain Sabotage

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Before we dive in to the episode, I wanted to let you know that I have a couple of master classes coming up in the next few weeks.

The first one is July 23rd. It's at 7:00 PM Eastern, and it is the power of emotion. I'm excited about this one. I think emotions are key to creating everything that we want and.

Most of us are not taught at any point in our lives how to be with our emotions, how to allow them, how to process them, and how to generate them intentionally. And I really think it is a key part of the process if you are looking to change, grow, evolve, set goals for yourself, go after something bigger and bolder.

You really want to be able to be with your emotions, not give to the fear, the doubt, the overwhelm, and learn how to. In conjunction with managing your mind, generate those feelings of determination, focus, motivation, whatever it is that you need to move yourself forward because without those emotions, you get trapped in the fear and the doubt and the overwhelm, and that's what you line up creating more of. And you don't get the result that you want.

So the key, and frankly, this is the secret to the universe, it's learning how to manage your mind and think intentionally and then generate. That emotion that you need to move yourself forward to take the action that you want to take, or the actions that you don't want to take and create ultimately the result that you want.

There is no other way to do this. You need to be thinking intentionally.

You need to be feeling deliberately.

This is what I teach my clients and this is what I'm going to go over in this 60 minute masterclass. It's a start, I think, it's a really great introduction for you to see the power of your emotion. So I would be honored to have you join us. The link to register will be in the show notes. Again, that's July 23rd.

The second webinar that I am teaching is on August 12th, same time, 7:00 PM Eastern, and it is on thriving in 2025. And I understand that 25, 20 25 is almost finished, but let's head into the end of the year super strong, super focused, and really finish up with power and intention, and I'm gonna be going over some of the things in this class that will help you to understand again, what's going on in your mind and your emotions and how we can work. To move you to that next level, why that's important, the components of that process, and ultimately how you can create any result that you want in your life.

So the link to those both will be in the show notes, and I would love to have you join me.

The third thing I want to mention is a private podcast series that I created. It's the confidence sessions and it is a three-part private podcast. It is tailored towards entrepreneurs. So if you're a solopreneur, you're a coach, you're a consultant, you're a creative, anybody who's looking or already has their own business, this is for you. Although it contains an amazing amount of coaching knowledge distilled into these three episodes.

So even if you don't have a business, I think you will still really benefit and enjoy these episodes.

So the link to that, you can sign up is in the show notes as well. I love that little series. I think it is such a great compilation of the best coaching material and knowledge that you will find, and probably you will want to listen to it a few times just to absorb all of that information. That's what I do. I listen to things multiple times, but it really does contain some great. Relevant, useful information, so I highly recommend it of course, because I did it. But check it out. I think you'll enjoy it.

Alright, so today on the episode, I wanted to talk a little bit about a session that I had last week with one of my clients. We'll call her Tina. And we had actually finished the majority of our session and we were just wrapping up in the last five minutes or so, and she mentioned that there was this job opportunity or a vacancy announcement that she had seen that looked interesting. And I want to tell you about this because it's, it's really fascinating about. It shows what happens when we believe everything our brain tells us.

And I think this is, this is such an important concept to understand and to become aware of. So let's get into it.

So as I said, I was coaching Tina, coming to the end of our session, and she had seen this vacancy announcement that had interested her and then as soon as that came out of her mouth, she started talking herself out of it.

And she said, and I'm paraphrasing here, but I probably won't get it. I'm not really qualified.

What if I get to the interview and don't know all the answers? I need more time to get my application, get together.

I don't know enough yet. I need to talk to other people and get more information about the job.

And basically she was just going to think about it and then she was ready to move on.

And even though her desire had sparked possibility and interest, her brain immediately shut it down. And I was fascinated. this is such a great example. I'm like, wait, we have to talk about this. this is really fascinating at what your brain is doing right now.

Your brain is not intentionally trying to sabotage you, but it is trying to protect you. We have that primitive part of our brain that wants to stay in the cave, wants to keep us safe, and wants to keep us alive. It thinks it's doing a really important job. And in this day and age, it's protecting us from rejection, discomfort, uncertainty, visibility and growth. It's important to understand that that primitive part of your brain is wired for survival, not thriving. So it's not looking to grow and to develop and explore and have a big adventure. It wants certainty, it wants familiarity, and it wants safety.

So even when you think about making a bold move, like applying for a new job, after you've been in your current job for a number of years, your brain throws up all of the red flags and all of the problems and all of the risks, not because they're true.

It's not because it's true that you're not ready or that you're not good enough or that you're not qualified, but because it feels safer to stay exactly where you are. And this is where we get stuck. We believe those thoughts, we take them at face value, and then we wait.

We tell ourselves we need more time. We tell ourselves, we'll think about it.

But what happens is we're not thinking, we're spinning. And this kind of default thinking costs us a lot. Imagine all of the opportunities and the options and the possibilities over the years. And it's cost us time and it costs us money and it costs us energy, but most importantly, it will cost us the life we want to create. So when I interrupted Tina's spiral and offered her something new, I wanted to just show and shift her to thinking, okay, what if we just didn't accept whatever your brain is saying as the truth. It feels true, right? Like we believe it. We think, oh, this is important, this is true. we better, we better believe this, and we just take it at face value. We don't even question it. We're not aware of what's going on.

But what if we got intentional about how we make these decisions, how we think these through? Because at that point, she was thinking she would make the decision based on this: that she didn't have enough time, that she wasn't qualified, that she wouldn't know all the answers in the interview, that she didn't have, enough information, and that would've been her reason or her reasons not to apply for the job.

But what we want to do is get really aware and slow things down, and we want to develop a simple decision making protocol that you can use to make those decisions. And what I recommended was looking at values. What are her values? what is important to her? We wanted to look at reasons for her staying in her current job because there could be valid reasons for her wanting to stay in her current job, and I wanted to make sure that she liked those reasons.

There's no good or bad, right or wrong, but you want to make sure that you liked them.

You don't have to explain them, you don't have to justify them to anybody, but you certainly want to make sure that you like them. and then I recommended her looking at the reasons for being drawn to the new role and whether those reasons aligned with the life she wanted to create and the person that she wanted to become because a lot of the work that we've been doing is looking at your future self and who are you becoming and does this contribute to the life that you want to create for yourself, the person that you want to become, the growth, the development that you want to experience.

Maybe it doesn't, maybe it does, but you want to take a look at that and be really conscious about that and talking about who she would have to become to say yes to this opportunity. And I think even considering it was a win, because it showed where her growth was waiting.

From that place, not fear, not overwhelm, but curiosity and clarity, she could decide with power and the idea just felt so much more solid. You're not making decisions and giving into your primitive part of your brain and fear and doubt and overwhelm, but you're being intentional. you have that clarity and you're being deliberate in deciding how to move yourself forward. And to me, that's the position that I want to be in. And that's what I hope for you and would like to see for you as you go forward and as you grow and as you evolve.

There's no right or wrong answer whether you apply for the job or not, whether you take the job or not, but you just want to be clear and deliberate and intentional and really like your reasons. Because you have to live with those reasons.

And are you going to feel good and grounded and satisfied in making a decision based on fear and doubt and overwhelm?

And again, it doesn't matter what the ultimate decision is, but it's the process. And it's not just believing everything your brain offers you, it's deciding that it's not helpful, that it doesn't need to be true. And what else could be true? What else could be possible?

So if you're listening to this and thinking that sounds like me, then of course I want to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you.

This is how your brain works. It offers thoughts because it's trying to protect you because they seem helpful, responsible, logical, maybe, but they're really just protective. 

And what happens is that when we're not aware of what's going on, and we just believe those thoughts without examining them, you unintentionally stay stuck.

You keep waiting, you keep overthinking, you keep defaulting to what you've always done. But when you become aware of your thoughts, when you question them, when you learn to be intentional with your mind, when you learn to manage your mind and not let it manage you, that's when things change and that's when you start to make decisions that move you forward, that are grounded, that are strong. They're deliberate and intentional. That's when you stop wasting your energy on what ifs and start creating real momentum, and that's when you stop hoping that things will change, and you start becoming the version of you who makes them happen.

So I want to leave you with this.

The next time your brain tells you you're not ready, you're not qualified, you're not good enough, you're not capable, take a pause.

Be on to yourself and your brain.

Get curious.

Ask: what am I believing right now? And actually I would say, what are you believing right now that's keeping you stuck? And is it actually true or just familiar? Is it actually helpful or is it holding me back?

Because you don't create the life that you want by thinking safe, familiar thoughts. You have to create it by becoming someone who questions the stories that keep you playing small and write the new ones intentionally.

That will set you free.

That's the work that I do with my clients every day.

That's the work that I have to do on myself or with myself every single day. It's not just mindset, it's transformation. And it's the difference between staying stuck for another year, or finally making your move.

So if this episode spoke to you, I'd love for you to do three quick things.

First, please subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. These conversations are designed to move you forward

Second, Rate and review the podcast. It helps other amazing women find it, and it would mean the world to me. Thank you.

And third, share this episode with someone who needs it, someone who's feeling stuck. It might be exactly what she needs to hear today.

And if you enjoyed it, you can listen to it again. Like I said, I listened to the podcast episodes on repeat, if they've spoken to me, if they contain powerful information, helpful information.

Listen to it again, and if you're ready to stop overthinking and start moving, book a free consultation with me. We'll talk about where you are and where you want to go, and how you want to get there with clarity, competence and support. Support and accountability can change everything for you.

You don't have to do this on your own.

You'll find the link to the consultation calendar in the show notes along with the links to the webinars and the private podcast. So that's all I have for you today.

Thank you so much for joining me, and I'll talk to you next time.

Bye.