Choose your hard

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. So today I wanted to go into talking about doing hard things, and this is not just about surviving them, but learning how to choose them when necessary to use 'em for growth and to let us reshape who we are now. We're all gonna go through hard things in our lives, but I think at times we need to choose to do hard things on purpose, and that's what we're here for and that's what makes our growth possible, really takes us and accelerates that process and takes us to that next level and pushes us to see what's possible. And I've probably said this before and it's something that I learned from my coach, but it's that this is what we're here for, to see what we're capable of, to see what's possible. And so choosing those things, choosing those hard things is the best way to see and to do that and to move yourself forward. So. This is talking about choosing our hard and really that's, that's where the magic is. So for me, there was a time in my life when, I didn't think seriously about being a coach. I had heard about life coaching and, obviously the program that I was in to get coached myself was talking about becoming a life coach. And I thought, oh, maybe that'd be interesting down the road. And certainly I never thought I would own a business. I would've told you probably about five years ago that I didn't have an entrepreneurial bone in my body. I just didn't get that gene or whatever it is, and it just wasn't for me. And that wasn't because I didn't wanna try it or I didn't wanna grow, but it just didn't seem available to me. It just didn't seem like an option. I, I seriously would've said I'm not an entrepreneur. And honestly, I didn't question that. I didn't, it just was easy. It was safe. It didn't require me to risk any failure or discomfort or looking foolish. But, the more I heard. My coach talk about it, the more the possibility became real and it, obviously met some sort of need in me or some sort of nudge in me that was, was looking for something and, hearing that over and over again that you can do this. Really made me wonder if I could, and even though it was, it seemed, it wasn't even scary or unfamiliar. It was just like, what? Like that's just crazy. And it seemed incredible. And I think it was so outrageous at the time and when I began that I didn't even really think it through and. then you start to get into it and there's this honeymoon phase, which is all fun and exciting, and it's been hard, like it's been hard and it's pushed me, pushed me further than I really thought was possible in a good way, in a really good way, in a satisfying way. now you might be asking what makes something hard, but hard is just a thought, right? you couldn't prove in a court of law that something is hard and. We talk about hard, like it's just the end of a conversation. Like it's a closed door. Like it's just a fact. But what if it's the beginning? We call things hard all of the time, starting something new, setting boundaries, feeling our feelings, asking for more, letting go. Saying yes to something uncertain, but labeling it as hard doesn't mean that it's not doable. It just means we've hit the edge of our comfort zone and this is where, yes, everything is just beginning and it is the hard that makes us strong. It is the discomfort, it's the unfamiliar moves, it's the decisions that we might second guess but still make. It's the showing up. Even though we feel like it would be easier not to showing up even when we feel like we have no idea what we're doing, and that's where the strength is built. Not from thinking about doing the thing, but we actually have to do it. We have to get in the arena and we have to do it. We can't stay on the sidelines. a lot of times we don't get to choose our heart. There's pain, there's loss, there's change, there's unexpected moments. We don't ask for those, but we grow from them. But other times, and this is really important, we do have the privilege of choosing our hard. We can choose to do something that stretches us to pursue a dream that that scares us. To take ourselves seriously for once and to say, I want more and not apologize for it, not justify it, not explain it. And that's not easy because most of us as women, were not raised to think that was allowed or that it was appropriate. That it was polite, that it was a good idea. So here's a question I want you to sit with. Who is showing you what's possible for your life? If you're like me, you might not have grown up seeing women boldly choosing their path. You might not have had someone say, you don't have to stay stuck. you can choose a different heart. You can choose your own discomfort and your own growth. And so if no one has said it to you, let me be the first. You can choose. You can stretch. You can create something new, But it's hard to see the path if no one's walking it ahead of you or beside you. Most of us won't step into more on our own. We need someone who believes in us. We need someone who's done it. We need someone who can hold up a mirror and say, look, there you are. That version of you who's doing hard things, she's already there in you. So both comfort and growth have their place. I'm not saying here, you have to always push. They're gonna be seasons. They're gonna be periods of rest and of comfort, and those are valid and they're necessary, but sometimes we stay in that soft too long. We let the comfort become a cage. I spent years not setting goals for myself. I think I may have set some goals to read in a certain number of books for the year, but that was it. It wasn't until I got into coaching that I saw the purpose of having a goal and the benefits and the opportunities that it opened up to me. It changed my life. Coaching changed my life. There's that nudge inside of us that's that's a part of our DNA. We have that nudge for more. We feel like we're meant for more, but there is a struggle to figure out what that is, and I'm beginning to think that it doesn't really matter what it is, as long as it affords you an opportunity to grow and to be creative. To do things and push yourself in a way that you've never done before. That's the experience, and it pushes us to imagine what might be possible and to explore that and to be curious. And so if you are feeling that buzz of dissatisfaction, that whisper of, I think I'm meant for more than it's time. It's time to get honest. It's time to challenge the stories that you're telling yourself. Because your brain will tell you terrible stories about what's possible and that you can't do things and it's hard and you're not qualified. I had a client this week I was coaching and she was talking about doing a workshop and she had had some initial discussions with the place, but never followed up. Never nothing ever came of it. And so she tells me about this workshop and in the same breath, she's like, I probably can't do it. And I said, look, tell me why you can do it. Tell me why you're the best person to do that workshop. Gimme three reasons. Gimme three pieces of evidence, and that's what we want to do. Your brain is gonna default to the negative. It's gonna say no, it's going to say not possible. Bad idea. You can't do that. You're not good enough. It's just going to do that. It's just gonna default to the negative. You have to push it, you have to refocus it. Say what else might be possible here? What else might be true? What else might be more helpful? 'cause that story that it's telling you about you not being good enough, not helpful. So you want to give it evidence that you can do it. And you'll have to push it. You have to say, find me three pieces of evidence. Gimme three reasons why I'm the perfect person to do that workshop. 'cause you are so get honest. Challenge those stories. Stop calling your desires too hard and start getting curious and have fun. What if you did choose the hard? What if you stopped waiting for someone else to push you? What if you became the one who says, why not me? Because you know what's actually hard, living a life that doesn't feel like yours. Pretending you're fine when you're not ignoring your dreams. Dismissing your dreams, ignoring your desires, playing small because no one gave you permission to play big, or no one told you that it was possible, but it is possible, and all of those things are hard too. It's quiet, invisible, hard, it's discomfort. It's the kind that leaves you stuck for years and I've seen that. I've seen, I've met, I've talked to the women who have been stuck for years. because time passes very quickly and you get comfortable in the discomfort. and then that hard becomes normal to dismiss your dreams, to not follow through, to not believe so many women have no idea what kind of freedom, success, or independence is actually available to them. They've never seen it modeled. They've never been told, you can do this too. And that was me. And it might be you. It's not because someone told me that I couldn't, but it's because no one ever told me that I could. And so this is why part of my mission is to be that voice for other women to say, this is available for you. You can do this. You don't have to keep settling. There's another way. So what is the level of hard you are willing to experience and why? Because life is going to be hard either way. And there's the hard of staying stuck, staying small, playing it safe, and there's the hard of stretching, of growing, of building something real and amazing. So choose the hard that leads somewhere. Choose the hard that changes your life because you're not here to watch from the stands. You have to get out there, get in the game. You are here to be in the arena and that that is something to be so deeply proud of and excited about and to enjoy. you can do hard things. You've probably already done so many and you don't have to do them alone. If you're ready to stop letting hard be the reason you stay stuck, if you're craving something more, but not sure how to move forward. If you want someone in your corner who believes in what's possible for you, I'm here. Let's talk. You can book a free consultation with me. The link is in the show notes. We'll explore what your version of doing hard might look like and how it can change everything. And if this episode resonated with you, please share it, subscribe and leave a review. It helps more women hear this message and helps me keep doing the work that I love. Until next time, don't be afraid of the hard. It's the path to the version of you you haven't even imagined yet. keep going. I'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.