Intentional becoming

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. Today I wanted to talk about something that I've been working on quite a bit with my clients over the past couple of weeks, and it's especially important if you're feeling stuck, restless, like life should be more fulfilling, maybe that there's more out there for you, but you're frustrated and overwhelmed and. Feeling a little beat down by not being able to, to figure this out and move yourself forward. Maybe you're not where you thought you'd be and you're wondering like, is this it? Is this all there is? And of course the answer is no. But let me be clear. The version of you who gets to experience more doesn't just show up. You become her. So I wanted to dive into this idea of who you are becoming, and more importantly, are you becoming her on purpose or by default. So let's go. Now, here's what nobody talks about once we hit our forties and fifties. It's that you're either becoming more of who you've been, right? Living in the past, or you're becoming someone new. You are creating who you are becoming. You are choosing and living from your future. I. The problem is that most of us are becoming the version of ourselves that's shaped by old stories, outdated beliefs, everyone else's expectations, our own fears and doubts, the stories that we are telling ourselves about who we are and what's possible for our lives. We wake up and live out the same patterns, the same thoughts, the same roles, and then wonder why we feel stuck. Why we feel like we're disappearing. But listen, if you kept living the next five years exactly the way you've been living the last five, would you be proud of who you've become? Would you be excited? Would you feel satisfied? Because here's what I know, you're always becoming someone. Either it's by default or it's deliberate, but every choice, every thought, every belief you repeat is shaping her. It's shaping who you become. So let's talk about becoming her on purpose, because that's where your power is, and that's the work that I want to do with my clients. There's this lie that you have to go and find yourself. We believe that, right? you hear a lot about it when you're younger, but the truth is you don't. You don't go find yourself. You create yourself. And the future isn't something that happens to you, but it's something that you can decide on and that you can create. We don't just have to live reacting to what's going on around us and being at the mercy of our circumstances answers. The version of you who feels lit up free, excited, creative, confident, purposeful. She's not hiding, but she needs you to decide that that work is worthwhile and it's worth building, and she's worth creating. So the question that you want to ask yourself is, who is the woman I'm becoming? If I keep thinking what I'm thinking right now? Such a great question. I. Because most of the time our brain is on autopilot and it's managing us instead of us managing it. And I think one of the things that I've especially repeated to my clients over the past few weeks is that when we're thinking and when we're feeling, we need to be intentional and we need to be deliberate. You need to manage your mind because if your brain is on autopilot with thoughts like. It's too late. I don't know what I want. This is just the way life is. I'm being unreasonable. I'm overwhelmed. I'm afraid. I don't know how to do it. It's too hard. Then you're just becoming the version of you who believes those things and keeps living them and stays stuck. But if you choose intentionally. New thoughts, like I get to reinvent. This isn't the end. This is the beginning. It's my new chapter. I'm just getting started. I'm figuring this out bit by bit. My best years are ahead of me now that the woman who's going places and creating what she wants, she's excited. She's a little bit scared, but. She is you. So even though we've been raised and we've been conditioned and programmed and taught to conform and to shrink into someone else's mold and not stand out and not be selfish, not be unreasonable, not be unrealistic, what you want to do is actually. Decide what you want and expand into your full expression, and that means choosing. You have the choice. You have that power to choose who you want to be next. And the way to become her is simple, but not easy. Everything I talk about in these podcasts requires work, requires effort. It requires you to make decisions as to show up and do that work on a daily basis. But that's what we do. And so you want decide who she is, get specific, go into the details, visualize her, how does she feel? How is she thinking? How does she show up? What is her energy like? What does she believe? What does she no longer tolerate? And then you want to start living from her now you can be her now. You don't have to wait. It's not something that you do in the future. It's a practice, it's a skill. It's not about who you become. Once you get the job or have the successful business or lose the weight, or when the kids move out, it's now and it's before you're ready and it's before you're feeling competent. And then you want to let go of the version of you that's keeping you stuck, because that's what's keeping you stuck. It's not the external circumstances. It's not your job, it's not your income, it's not your kids. It's not your partner, it's not your job. It's, it's nothing except you and what you are thinking and feeling. You need to let go of what's holding you back in your mind, that version of you that is thinking those thoughts and telling that story. And this is not to disparage her because she served a purpose. She got you here, and that's no small thing. We can appreciate her and celebrate her, but she cannot go where you're going and she cannot take you there. So it's time to say thank you and goodbye. And so what I want to tell you is that you don't need permission, but you need a plan. You don't need to justify wanting more. You don't have to explain it. You don't need to explain your hunger for reinvention or for change. You don't need your partner, your boss, or your friends to get it. You just need to start becoming the woman who does the things you dream about. Start shifting the way you think, the way you feel. It will shift your energy and it will change how you show up and the actions that you take, and therefore, it ultimately changes the results you create in your life. This is the key to creating anything you want. She is already inside you. She's ready to go. She's the part of you that's done settling. She's done with average. She's done with the frustration and the overwhelm. Do not wallow in those emotions. Do not be the victim. You're done playing small. You're done waiting. This is just the beginning and you're just getting started and you get to lead it. Be intentional and be deliberate. Alright, so let's wrap this up with a few takeaways to really let this land first. You are always becoming someone, but I want you to do it on purpose. Don't let default settings define your future. Second, your thoughts are the blueprint of your identity. You want to become someone different, start thinking like her today. And third, you don't find your future self. You decide her, you create her. She is not out there, she is in you now. So what I want you to do this week: write this sentence at the top of a journal page, who am I becoming? Take 10 minutes to answer it. No filters, no editing. Just be honest. And then ask yourself this every day. What would my future self do in this moment? How would she show up today? What would she be thinking? What would she be feeling? How does she dress? How does she show up? When you have a decision to make, when you're feeling scared. When you're tired, ask her. Let her take the lead. And then third, you want to choose one thought to practice all week. And here are a few. I'm in the middle of becoming someone powerful. This is not the end of this story. This is just the beginning. I get to choose what's next. Practice them out loud. Say them in the mirror, put it on a sticky note. Repeat it like your life depends on it, because in a way it does. You are feeling stuck. You want change, you want more. You're frustrated, you're tired, you're sick of playing small and holding yourself back. This is where the change starts to happen. It takes daily work. Commit to it. And if you mess up, if you forget, if you get distracted, just start again where you are. Begin again. Don't make it mean anything. Don't beat yourself up. Don't judge yourself. Don't name call. Just start again. Be consistent and be persistent, but keep going. Becoming the next version of you isn't about burning everything down. It's about building something on purpose, intentional and deliberate, and this is your moment. You have not missed your chance. It's not too late, you're not behind, you're not doing it wrong. You're just getting started. And I'll leave you with this quote from George Elliott. It is never too late to be what you might have been. Go become her and if this episode was useful to you, please share it with a friend. If you have a moment to rate and review and subscribe to the podcast, I would really appreciate it. And if you're ready to stop feeling stuck and start becoming the next version of you, book a free consult with me. Let's talk about what's next and how to create it. This is some of the most important and powerful work you will ever do for yourself, and it is truly one of the best investments you can make. Do this work. This is your daring adventure, my friend. Let's go. I'm here for it and I'm here to support you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye-bye.