No more drama

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Tri

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure.

So today I'm going to dive right into a topic which keeps a lot of women in their business feeling stuck and hiding themselves and holding themselves back, and it is cleverly disguised by our brain, and most of us don't even realize that it's happening.

We just think that it's all fact and it's real, but in actuality it's not. And so we're going to dive deep into this and help you to clean some of that up so that you can move forward and go to that next level in your business and in your life, and create whatever it is you want.

So here's what I heard from my client, Sarah, last week. She is 52 and she has 20 years of corporate experience, and she has been planning to launch her consulting business for three years, three years. And she's talking about getting her website perfect first and finishing a certification, doing some more market research, and then figuring out her pricing strategy and what she's going to charge.

And she was going to go on and I finally just cut her off and said, listen stop, because this probably sounds familiar to you and it's very familiar to me. We make this long laundry list of things that we need to do, that need to be done well, if not perfectly, before we can put ourselves out there, before we can take the action that we want to take, and before we really dive into offering our services, creating our business, or making that or creating, or for those of you who are experienced and already established businesswomen, it can stop you from taking that next step and from really putting yourself out there, you might be just operating at a minimal level, but holding yourself back from going after what you really want.

So here's what I told Sarah and what she didn't realize, and maybe what you don't realize, either the drama that you're creating around your business, whether you're starting or whether you're already established, isn't because you're trying to be thorough, or you're a perfectionist or you're professional. It's fear.

Now, let me tell you that endless cycle of preparation, perfection, and postponement, that's not you being smart or strategic. That is your brain creating drama to protect you. It's protecting you from failure. It's protecting you from risk, and it's protecting you from actually succeeding.

Our brains are wired for survival, not success. And you have probably survived decades of challenges, disappointments, maybe even some failures, and your brain has cataloged every single one. And now, when you want to create something new, something bigger, something bolder than you have before, your brain goes into overdrive and it starts thinking, what if I fail publicly? What if I'm too old? What if I don't have what it takes? What if I fail? And so instead of letting you take the action that you say you want to take and risk finding out what your capacity is, your brilliant mind creates elaborate dramas.

Suddenly you need six more months to, in quotes, get ready. You need another course, you need another coach. You need another plan. You need another program.

You need another offer, you need another freebie, you need whatever it is. And I've done that myself. I know for sure I have done that for myself. Especially in the beginning, first few years of my business, thinking that there was this one perfect lead magnet or this one perfect podcast episode or this one perfect Instagram post or email or program that I could create that would change everything, that would create that business, that would bring people in, that would create that success that I had been thinking about. And I kept creating and creating and changing my mind. And it's sort of that shiny object syndrome.

Well, maybe this, I could try this and I need to do this, and then, then when I get that, it'll be ready. And I see that now I can look back in retrospect, especially from the first few years of my business thinking it didn't need to be that complicated and it could have been a lot more straightforward and probably I needed just, 1, 2, 3 things to put myself out there and to make offers and to offer my services to people as a coach, instead of making it so complicated and spinning my wheels and just getting stuck in the drama in my head.

It's easy for me to say that now because I can look back at it and see, and having a business at that time was so new to me. It's hard to make sense of it. It's hard to see. You're still trying to figure all things out and learn and discover and create.

But I can tell you now, it doesn't have to be that complicated. And there is a lot of drama that our brain creates in order to hold us back and we buy into it. We think it's real. It feels very real, so it makes sense that we buy into it. but I really want you to be aware of what's going on, not that anything has gone wrong. It's just not helpful for you, and we can eliminate a lot of that drama, eliminate a lot of that stalling and that stuckness, and move you forward towards what you really want to create 'cause it's possible. And so here's how this pattern destroys your confidence as a female entrepreneur when you're in your fifties. First, it creates a false narrative about your capabilities.

Every day you delay taking action. You're unconsciously telling yourself, I'm not ready yet. I don't have what it takes. And this starts to undermine your confidence and erodes it away from the inside out. Second, it might reinforce some age related doubts. You might feel that you still need to prepare because you're thinking maybe you've missed your window. Maybe it's too late for you. Maybe you're just not going to be able to figure this out and make this a success, and that's okay, but it's not helpful. 

Third, it disconnects you from your greatest asset, which is your experience. You start viewing your decades of knowledge as insufficient instead of invaluable. I want you to remember that regardless of what you've done in the past, all of what you've learned, all of your experience, all of your skills can be helpful. You forget that you've already solved problems, probably managed some teams navigated crises you've been doing. You can figure this out. And then let's talk about what this drama is actually costing you because. I think the price is higher than you actually realize.

First, there's the financial cost. Every month you spend getting ready is a month that you're not earning from your expertise. And if your business can generate even $5,000 a month once it's launched, once launched, that year of preparation just cost you $60,000.

But here's what's worse: You're also spending money on the drama, another course, another certification, another book, whatever, to help you get ready.

And I've seen women spend $20,000 or more on preparation for a business that they never launched.

Second, there's a time cost. Look, time isn't just money, but it's your most precious resource that year that you've spent researching, putting things together. You cannot get that back. Every day you delay means that you're not building the business and the life that you want. And whether that's more investment in yourself, whether that is, whether that is putting together new programs, whether that is travel, whether that is investing, whether that is buying the home or the car that you want. You're putting that off.

Third is the energy cost, and this is key because drama is exhausting. All of that mental energy spent on what if scenarios spinning out.

All that emotional energy drained by perfectionism, all that creative energy wasted on endless planning, that's energy you could be using to serve clients, to generate revenue, to build momentum. But it's being lost. It's leaking out.

But here's the cost that I think is the most important. You're robbing yourself of your next level.

Right now there's a version of you living at your full potential. She's confident, profitable, and making the impact that you want to make. But every day that you stay stuck in drama is another day. You're not becoming her.

And that emotional cost will compound daily.

Every day you don't act on your vision, you lose a little more belief in yourself, and it becomes harder to move yourself forward. You start to wonder if you're mistaken. You think maybe everyone else is right and you should just be grateful for what you have. But grateful for what? For hiding your gifts, for playing small, for letting fear make your decisions, for not going after what you really want. No.

So how do you break this cycle? How do you stop creating drama and start creating the results that you really want?

First, recognize that drama is fear in designer clothes. When you catch yourself saying, I just need to, or I should probably, or maybe I should wait until, pause yourself, catch yourself, and ask, what am I really afraid of here? What am I putting off really doing? Why am I holding myself back here?

Second, remember that imperfect action beats perfect inaction every single time. your first website doesn't need to win design awards. Your first client doesn't need to be Fortune 500, and your first launch doesn't need to be flawless, but it's taking that action and moving yourself forward, which is going to help you to create success eventually sooner, if not later.

So here's your first action step, and I want you to do this right away. It's the 24 hour rule. Right now, think of one action you've been postponing for your business. Just one. Maybe it's setting up that LinkedIn profile, sending that email to potential client or registering your business name.

Here's what you're going to do. You have 24 hours to take that one action, not to perfect it, not to research it more. Just to do it. Set a timer on your phone right now for 24 hours from now. And when it goes off, that action needs to be complete. Why 24 hours? Because it's short enough that your brain can't create elaborate drama around it, but long enough that you can't use. I don't have the time right now as an excuses. Here's what I want you to understand. You are not starting from scratch. You're not too late, you're not behind. It's not about whether you have what it takes, if you don't have the capacity. You have experience. You can build the business that you want. You know how to navigate relationships. You know how to manage complexity. You know how to make decisions under pressure. You have wisdom, you have credibility.

So here's your second action step.

Take 15 minutes and write down every challenge you've solved in your career, every project you've led, every crisis you've managed, every team you've built, or turn around and don't just list job duties, but write down actual problems that you solved and results you created.

It could be that time you increased efficiency by 30%. That project you brought in under budget, that team member you mentored who got promoted, and it could be that certification that you achieved. it could be that degree you obtained. It could be the podcast you created, the client you've coached.

This is about reconnecting with your track record of success. Because when you see it all laid out, you'll be giving your brain that evidence and you'll realize you have been successful throughout your career. You have made achievements.

You are capable, you can move yourself forward. You can do this for yourself to move yourself forward in your business.

The most successful women entrepreneurs I work with have made one crucial mindset shift. They've stopped thinking, can I do this? And they've started thinking, how can I serve? How can I provide value?

When you focus on the value you can provide, the problems you can solve, the difference you can make the drama disappears.

Take the focus off of yourself because it's no longer about you and your fears, it's about the people who need what you have to offer.

And I've done this myself with coaching. I know that coaching is so valuable and so powerful and so important, and the difference that it can make in everyone's life. I would literally coach everyone if I could.

At least I think everyone should have a coach 'cause I know what a difference it can make.

Especially as an entrepreneur or a coach, a businesswoman, a consultant, an artist. If you want to go to that next level, you need some support and some help. It's not because you're not capable, it's not because you're not smart, but having that support, having that objective view of what's going on in your brain, what you're not seeing, or what you're spending too much time in. 

If you want to create confidence, if you want to get that clarity, if you want to move yourself forward into that next level, the best, most effective way you can do it is to get some support of a coach. and so when I am talking about my coaching, when I am making offers, when I tell people about the value that I can offer, I truly focus on how it can change their lives.

There's nothing more devastating to me than to do a consult with someone who I know I can help and who doesn't take me up on it.

Now, there could be a hundred reasons why they don't. But I know regardless, I can help take you to that next level, and that to me is why I'm showing up and why I do this and why I can talk about the coaching the way I do. And so I want you to do that for yourself in your business, regardless of what it is. Believe in the value. Know exactly what you have to offer and focus on that. The people out there need you. They need what you have to offer. And believe that a hundred percent or work on that belief until you get there.

And by not putting yourself out there and by not making offers and by not offering your value to people, and by staying stuck in preparation mode, you're not just limiting yourself, but then you're depriving your potential clients of a service that they need.

Focus on that. Focus on who you can help. So here's what I want you to remember. Your drama is just wearing a business suit. The endless planning, the perfectionism, the just one more thing. That's not professionalism. It's just protection, and you don't need the protection.

You need progress. You don't need perfection. You need practice. You don't need to have it all figured out. You need to take the next step.

So if this makes sense, if this sounds like where you are getting hung up, then I want you to consider booking a consult call with me. Let's talk about where you're holding yourself back, where you need to strengthen your confidence and to gain some clarity in order to move forward, because if you're feeling like you're meant for more, it's because you are and you have a business, something you want to offer people.

Let's get it out there.

Let's take you to the next level. Let's create the business and the life that you truly want.

No more endless planning. no more perfectionism. Just real progress towards the business and the life that you know you wanna create. Because you can do this, you can prove your brain wrong and show yourself what you're truly capable of.

So the link will be in the show notes.

Book a time on my calendar and let's talk. Don't hide behind the drama.

Be aware of what your brain is offering you. If it's not helpful, then let's change it.

Thanks everybody for listening. 

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life Again. As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one-on-one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristaguertincoaching don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.