Not good enough

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Tri

Hey everybody. Welcome back to The Staring Adventure. Today we're diving into something that I hear over and over again, especially from a lot of the amazing women that I coach, and it's this. I've struggled with not being good enough my whole life. If you're listening and that sentence feels like your own, I want you to stay with me because this episode might just change how you see yourself and what's possible next. So, why does this happen? Where? What is the origin of not good enough? We weren't born believing that somehow it's learned and usually very early socialization, media, family, teachers, religion, society. It could be a moment in childhood that you barely remember. I believe these things happen consciously and unconsciously Now, the important thing to remember here is that thoughts are not facts. They're just sentences in our minds that we've practiced believing they become beliefs. So a belief is just the thought we keep thinking over and over again. And this one, not being good enough is something that our brain latches onto and it becomes a deeply rehearsed sentence. But because we've thought it for so long, it feels like a truth. It feels real. It feels like a fact, and we use it as a lens to interpret everything. A missed opportunity becomes proof. A moment of hesitation becomes evidence. Even success feels like a fluke never enough, and that belief just gets hardwired. The more we think it, the more we hardwire it in our brain and our brain becomes really efficient at looking for more and more ways to prove it's true. I think also our brain, because we have that primitive part of our brain, it likes to warn us. It's looking for danger. It's looking for the negative, the problems, and if it's looking for what's not working or where we're deficient or where somehow we come up short perceived to come up short. Of course. Our brain wants to warn us, say, look, this is a problem, problem, problem. And I think it comes back to that idea that we're very tribal in nature, and so if we're not fitting in, if we're not conforming, if we're not living up to standards, then somebody might criticize us. Somebody might judge us, somebody might say something, which is a threat in and of itself, and we might be ostracized from the tribe because we're not good enough, and therefore we won't be able to survive ultimately. So it sees this as a life or death situation. I. We can continue on our entire lives with this thought pattern and these beliefs and this idea that somehow we're not good enough. And no matter what anybody else says, nobody, no matter what anybody else tells us, we're not going to stop believing it, unless we do the internal work on ourselves, there's no amount of appreciation, respect, love, compliments, gratitude that somebody can give you to fill that gap in yourself and to prove and to think otherwise, unless you do that work yourself. And so this has a pretty significant impact on your life and your business. And I think what it creates for us, especially as women entrepreneurs in their fifties, is that we hold back even when we know what we want. We second guess decisions and ideas. We undercharge, overwork, and undervalue our expertise. We watch others take action while we stay behind telling ourselves we're not ready. We have to do something different. We have to improve it. We need this next new idea. We have to fix our website. And here's what's the most heartbreaking We live our lives through a filter of almost. Almost ready, almost successful, almost worthy. But the goalpost keeps moving, and we never ultimately allow ourselves to reach that point. And this belief doesn't just hold us back. It keeps us stuck in a version of our lives that's so much smaller than what we want and what we're meant for. So what can we do about it? I want to give you three tools that I use with my clients to begin shifting the belief that they're not good enough so they can actually create the next level life and business that they want because that's what we're here for. The first is to separate the fact from the thought. Our brain loves to tell stories. It loves to look for evidence, it loves drama, and so we want to start to catch it out and see where we are manufacturing that drama. So the first thing I want you to do is to write down, I'm not good enough, and I want you to take a look at it and ask yourself, is this a fact? Is it a thought? The fact will be, I have a business. The thought will be, I am not good enough to grow it. Just that separation is powerful. You can prove that you have a coaching business. You can prove you have a business, but you can't prove that you're not good enough. To grow it. That's the drama that your brain is giving you. It's manufacturing it. And when we can label that as a thought, we can get some space from it. We are no longer at the mercy of it. We have a little bit more objectivity, we have a little bit more power over it, and then we get to choose a different thought. Next, I want you to ask yourself what that thought is costing you. Just be honest with yourself. What opportunities have you said no to because of this belief? How much time have you wasted spinning over, analyzing, staying small, creating, creating, creating instead of making offers and putting yourself out there? And then what are you not doing that you want to do because of that one sentence? When we see the emotional and financial cost of staying in that belief, it becomes harder to justify holding onto it because it is literally holding us back. We're not showing up. We're not doing the things we say we want to do. And then the third step is to choose a new thought to practice. Now, this is not about rainbows and daisies. It's not fake positivity. It's not unicorns and glitter. It's just a believable step forward. We wanna choose a new thought that feels a little bit better, and if the thought I'm not good enough is at a 10 out of 10 in your brain, don't jump to. I am awesome or I'm amazing because you're not gonna believe it. It's not gonna help. Instead, what you want to try is, maybe I am good enough to try. I'm willing to believe I can do this. It's possible that I can figure this out. What if this is just an old story? I don't have to believe anymore. We don't leap, we ladder. Small shifts repeated. This is daily work and it is work, and that's how we build a new mental foundation. That's how we start to shift things and change things and rewire our brains. Now, here's where coaching comes in. This work is about closing the gap between that old identity of not being good enough, and the next version of you. The woman who trusts herself, who leads, who sells, who says yes to the bolder version of her business and her life. And in coaching, we bridge that gap by uncovering the unconscious thoughts that are running your decisions. We start rewiring your internal dialogue so your brain starts to offer useful thoughts on default. And then we create safety to take action even when confidence hasn't caught up yet. And finally, we build trust so you follow through, you show up, and you stop abandoning yourself so you can take the action that you say you wanna take, so you can create the business and the life you know you want for yourself. Confidence isn't something that you wait for. It's something that you build by showing up. Even when you still hear that old voice whispering, not good enough, but it's when you stop listening to that voice that everything changes. Let's just assume your brain is going to be offering you that thought for the next six months. Okay? Your power is in not believing it. Your power is in starting to shift away to a better feeling thought and practicing it, and using that thought to create a better feeling in you, a feeling that is maybe determined or motivated or focused so that you can take the action that you want to take in your business and your life, and that's how we move forward. I. And yes, it requires daily work, but just like you have to brush your teeth every day, you have to weed your garden. This is the work that we do, and it's some of the most important work that you can do for yourself and your life. So remember, you're not broken, you're not behind, you're not too late. There's nothing wrong with you. There's just a thought that you've thought. For a very long time, you've thought it so many times, it's become a belief and you repeat it automatically very efficiently because that was, that's what your brain does. Nothing has gone wrong and I can help you unlearn it. You do not have to carry not good enough into the next chapter of your life or your business. You want more. You wanna grow your business. You wanna go to that next level. This is the work that we do, and you don't have to stay in not good enough for one more day. This is what I do with my clients. We shift that belief. We clean up the stories. We build the skills of managing our minds and being with our emotions and being intentional and deliberate with what we're thinking and what we're feeling so that we can take the action that creates what we want, and we build a relationship with yourself that becomes uncheckable, so that the next level isn't just possible. It's inevitable. So if this resonated with you and you're ready to stop letting this one sentence run your life, I invite you to work with me. We're going to start by uncovering what stuck, and then we create the foundation for everything else you want to build. There's a link in the show notes so you can sign up for my next level confidence and clarity Check-in. You can answer a few short questions, and then I will send you a personalized video with some notes that shows you where you are, along with some steps you can take immediately to move yourself forward and where I see you going and what's possible in the future. They're so much fun, you guys. I'm having a blast doing them and giving the feedback and doing the videos, and I think they're incredibly helpful. The feedback that I've been getting is that they are amazing and they are so helpful. They're jam packed with personalized feedback just for you. So if you're interested, the link is in the show notes, sign up, try it out, and then if you want, I invite you to get on a call with me and let's talk about what I saw, what you're experiencing, and where you want to go. Because listen, if you're in your fifties and you're building and expanding your business and you know where you want to go, this is your time to go after it and getting help, getting support, making that investment in yourself and your business is the best way to do this. Don't struggle on your own any longer. Don't stay stuck in those beliefs that aren't serving you. Let's do this work. Let's create what it is you want. Thank you for listening. Thank you so much for being here today. I'd love for you to share it with another woman who needs to hear it. And if you haven't yet, I would be so grateful if you take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe to the show, it helps more women find this work, and it's the best way to help this message grow and reach more women who need it. You can also follow along for more on Instagram or head to the link in the show notes to to sign up for your next level confidence and clarity check-in. I'll see you next time. Thanks everybody. Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life Again, as always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one-on-one coaching session. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.