Quiet the Noise

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin

Hey everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. So let me ask you this. Have you ever worked your entire life to get where you are? School training, family career? Only to wonder what Now, maybe you've checked all the boxes, but some days it feels like you're still not enough, that maybe it's not enough, that there's more out there, there's more that you're capable of, there's more that you want, maybe. You walk into a meeting, a conference, or even just another workday, and suddenly you think everyone here is smarter than me. Everyone here is younger than me. Maybe I'm not even good at this. Maybe I should just quit and do something else. Is it too late? Oh, no, it's, it's never ending. And if this sounds familiar, this episode is for you. I recently coached a physician who shared something so relatable. She said, you know, I did everything, went to medical school, did the training, started a family, built a home, committed to my career. Now I'm asking myself what's next. I love my patients. I know I'm good with them, but at a recent conference, I was surrounded by some of the smartest people I've ever met. A lot of them were younger than me and I thought, who let me in here? I'm probably terrible at my job. Maybe I should just leave medicine altogether. I. And she had recently asked to go up for promotion early only to find out there were some negative teaching reviews in her file that she didn't realize were there. Nothing devastating, but enough to make her doubt everything. And that's when the spiral started. Her brain went into overdrive. I mean, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe people don't like me. Maybe I'm just a warm body to see patients. Now, maybe your situation isn't exactly the same as my clients, but maybe parts of it sound familiar. That inner critic doesn't care how accomplished you are. It only knows how to find the crack in your confidence and pry it wide open. Listen. This isn't really about the promotion or the reviews or the conference, but this is about what you think about yourself when things don't go perfectly in those moments of doubt, when your brain just takes over and starts listing out all of the problems, all of the reasons and what's wrong with you. It's about your relationship with yourself because you can have incredible feedback from patients, a career you love and still feel like an imposter when you compare yourself to others. We live in a world. Especially in high performing academic or leadership settings where you are constantly surrounded by achievement and brilliance, and it can feel intimidating. But here's the thing, being around smart, capable people is not a threat. It can be an opportunity. And seeing other people succeed doesn't mean that you're less than, but that. The possibility exists and the problem comes when you make other people's strengths, means something negative about you. So what do we do with that inner dialogue? How do you quiet that voice that says, I'm not enough? How do you steady yourself when reviews or feedback or comments or even just the noise from your brain of self comparison threatens to knock you off course? You first have to remember this. Your thoughts create your feelings. When you believe I'm not smart enough or I'm not capable enough, of course you're gonna feel anxious, inadequate, hopeless, and those feelings will make you show up Smaller, avoidant, defensive. But when you choose to believe something more useful, like I'm a good doctor, I care deeply for my patients. I'm learning and improving every day, your feelings change, your confidence grows, your resilience builds, and your energy shifts, and that's when action becomes possible, the action that you want to take. My client eventually came back to this. When I'm with my patients, I know I'm good at what I do. They trust me. They give me incredible feedback, and that's why I stayed in this career. That's the part I love, and that's the truth she needed to anchor herself in. Once she quieted that primitive part of her brain, that was simply just looking for problems and focusing on the negative. It was telling her a terrible story that made her feel lousy and wasn't helpful. Look, life and career are always going to be 50 50. There will be highs, big wins, recognition, meaningful moments, and then there will be lows, negative reviews, disappointments, complicated systems, colleagues who seem to sore while you feel like you're crawling. None of that means you're broken. None of that means you don't belong. None of that means that there's something wrong with you. What matters is how you treat yourself through it all, because everybody will go through this, but it's how we come out on the other side. Do you add suffering to the struggle by saying, I'm terrible, I should just quit. Then hide and keep yourself playing small, or do you say, this is hard, but I can handle hard things and I'm gonna learn from this and grow. The process might be messy, but this is where real resilience is built, and this is why I do the work that I do, not just with my clients, but with myself. Because your brain will hijack you and your day, and you have to clean that mess up. You have to do the work, and that's the only way that we can succeed is that we do this daily work. Think of it as weeding your garden, trimming your hair, going to the gym, whatever it is that has to be done on a regular basis. I find that if I'm not watching what I'm thinking, cleaning it up and focusing intentionally and deliberately on what I wanna think and the story that I wanna tell myself, then I go off into the ditch. I'm playing the victim, and I feel terrible, and therefore I am hiding out. I'm playing small and I'm not going after what I truly want. Listen, if you've experienced anything like this, it's very normal. This is the human brain being a human brain. Your power is in learning how to overcome it, how to overcome yourself and drive yourself to that next level, inch by inch. I might add. This is hard. We can handle hard things and we learn how to manage that inner critic, build confidence, and create a stronger relationship with ourselves because when we believe in ourselves, we stop being at the mercy of all the externals, right? Feedback, comparison, comments, setbacks. And we learn how to create what we need for ourselves. And right now, you can enjoy your career or your business or your relationship and grow and still love your life along the way. So again, if you're thinking that this is you at all, then know you're not alone. The self-doubt is normal. But it doesn't have to run your life. You decide who you are. You decide how you think about yourself, your career, your future, and your life. So before we wrap up, I wanna ask you a quick favor. If you are enjoying this podcast, would you please take a moment to rate, review, share, and subscribe. It helps me so much, but more importantly, it helps other women, women just like you, find this message, find this podcast, and learn and grow just as we all are. Your review could be the reason another woman gets the encouragement that she needs today. So thank you in advance, and if you're ready to take this work deeper, check out my new coaching membership called You Redefined. I'm so excited. The link will be in the show notes. Right now you can join as a founding member for $19 a month. Lock in that price forever and you can try it at no risk for seven days. So this is your chance to build the confidence and clarity you've been looking for, and do it in a community of women who get it. You'll get the support, you'll get the guidance. You will learn the tools and skills that you need and how to apply them directly to your life. You belong there, you always have, and I can't wait to see you there. Thanks everybody. Have a great week. I'll talk to you. Again in September. See ya.