Start taking action

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody. Welcome to This Daring Adventure. Thank you so much for joining me today. So today I wanted to talk about how to take action, especially when you don't feel like it. And I know this is something that a lot of you are struggling with, and it's something that I'm working on for myself. I find that there are certain areas where I can do things and I follow through and I do what I say I am gonna do and then I don't in other areas, and it's a little bit spotty, so it's something that I'm working on myself this month, especially. So I thought I would just go over a few tips and tricks. No, not tips and tricks. Some ideas of to what you can use to help you follow through and yeah. So let's dive in. So listen, many of you, and I know I've done this too, you've been thinking about doing something for a long time. There are things that you have thought about and then thought about starting and then done nothing, or maybe you started a little bit and then you stopped, and you probably have several reasons in your head as to why you think this happens, but let me tell you, it's not about needing more time, it's not about more information, and it's not about another plan. You just need to start moving. I think we like to complicate things and we like to think that there's some reason there's something wrong with us. We're doing something wrong. We just don't have the discipline or the motivation. We need to learn more. We're not ready and. There really is no secret. And if you're like the women that I work with and honestly like me too, sometimes you're just not moving. You're thinking about it, you're planning it, you're researching it, you're talking about it. You're talking yourself out of it, and you're not actually doing the thing. So today we're gonna talk about why and most importantly, how to take action even when you don't feel like it. And let me tell you, most of the time you're not gonna feel like it. So here's the real problem, and this is what most people are thinking. I'm not taking action because I don't have enough time. I'm too busy. I don't know what to do yet. I need to feel more motivated. I just don't have the discipline. This is just who I am. But that's not actually true. None of it is true. The real reason you're not taking action is because you don't like how it feels, and that's pretty much it. Every action you take in your life is driven by a feeling and every feeling you have created. and every feeling you have is created by a thought. So if you're not taking action, it's not because you're lazy or unmotivated, it's because of what you're thinking and what you're believing and how that makes you feel. let me give you an example. Let's say you wanna start something new. Maybe it's getting healthier, maybe it's starting a business. Maybe it's figuring out your next chapter, and your brain offers you a thought like, this is gonna be hard. That thought creates a feeling. Maybe overwhelm, maybe resistance, maybe doubt, maybe fear. And from that feeling, what do you do? You don't start or you delay or you scroll. You tell yourself you're gonna do it tomorrow. So the problem is not that you don't know what to do, The problem is that your brain is trying to protect you from discomfort. It's hard doing these things. It's not fun. It may not be easy, and your primitive brain has one job that is to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. That's the motivational triad. That's it. It doesn't care about your goals. It does not care about your dreams. It does not care about your next chapter. It wants you safe, comfortable, and resting, still lying on the couch, watching Netflix or staying in bed, eating snacks. So when you decide to do something new, something that requires effort, uncertainty, risk, or growth work, Your brain is going to say, let's not. I'm too tired. Let's do it tomorrow, or whatever flavor it offers you, but it will try to talk you out of it, and it will sound very convincing. It will feel very real. You will feel tired, you will feel stressed. You will feel that it's too hard, and your brain will tell you you're too tired. Now is not the right time. You need a better plan. What if you fail and start tomorrow? And we believe it. We believe it. I believe it. I still believe it. And it's not because it's true, but it feels true. And it feels real. And it's easier to not do the thing than to do it at least physically, right? Emotionally, it comes with a lot of baggage. I will tell you that this month I wanted to do a month of doing what I said I would do no matter what. And I really haven't done this before. And so I set myself the task of doing some pushups every day, at least three pushups every day, and having oatmeal for breakfast. I have kept that up, but I will tell you the very first day, March 1st, I had not done my pushups. It was evening. I was getting ready for bed. I was about to literally get into bed and my brain offered Well, you know, we can just, we can just start tomorrow. It's not gonna matter today. We can just start. And I was like, what is going on? This is March 1st. If I don't do it today, then we're just gonna ruin the whole month. Okay. It's not ruining the whole month, but you get what I mean. My whole plan, I had set that plan that very day to do the entire month of March pushups, and on the very first day, my brain is like, ugh. Let's not, it doesn't matter. Start tomorrow. And I had to get down on the floor and do it anyway. And when I did that, that first night, I was like, oh, okay, now I've got this. And so today is the 19th. And I will tell you, for the most part I have been able to do it. Now, I have done the pushups every day, but there's only been, I think one day since I was like, Ugh, maybe not today. And I was like, what? I had to catch myself. I have to, you have to have this awareness, and there were, there've been at least two nights where I, again, didn't do my pushups during the day. It was. Getting ready for bed. I, and there were two times that I actually had gotten into bed, turned off the light and was lying there in bed. I was like, oh crap. I forgot to do my pushups and I had to get out of bed and do the pushups, and I did. And this is new to me. This is different. The oatmeal hasn't been so much of a problem. It's not very exciting, but I'm doing it, but the pushups, even if I just do three, like up to seven now, it's really interesting to watch my brain and that's it. that's the key. It's your brain talking you out of it. But having that awareness is huge. And I think we're also waiting for a feeling that isn't going to come, because what gets most people stuck is we think we should feel motivated before we take action, but. We have to, if we want, create that motivation or create that discipline, it's not something floating around that's suddenly gonna find us. And oftentimes we just have to take action and that will in turn, create motivation. If we're waiting for that feeling, it might never come. Or it might come occasionally or rarely. We have the power to create that feeling, especially when we start moving ourselves. But you know by now that if you are waiting to feel ready, you will be waiting for a very long time because your brain is literally designed to resist exactly the thing that will move you and move your life forward. It wants to go back to bed and watch Netflix and eat snacks. So what can we do instead? I'm gonna give you a simple process here that you can try out anytime you're feeling stuck, and this'll be the action reset method. The A stands for Acknowledge the thought. Have that awareness. First, pause and ask, what am I thinking right now? And get honest. Just get still and listen. Is it, this is too much. I can't do this. I don't feel like it. What's the point? I can do this tomorrow. Just notice it. Gain that awareness. Don't judge yourself. Just find it. And then you want to choose a thought on purpose. I. It doesn't have to be super positive. This isn't about toxic positivity, but we wanna choose something useful and helpful, something that will create some movement. So it might be, I can do five minutes, I'm figuring this out. I don't need to do this perfectly. You then are starting to train your brain to support you and not stop you. I will tell you though this one caveat that as long as you have a human brain, that primitive part of your brain is going to try to stop you. It will continue to give you reasons. I have been walking and running for the past year and my brain still. It's too windy out there. It might rain, it might be too cold, and it comes up with these thoughts so that I stay home, that I don't go out, and I caught myself even last week, earlier this week. Oh, it looks like it might rain, so I better not go out. And then I was like, what? I will go out and I will see get something done, but my brain constantly is giving me thoughts that are not helpful. Next, for the tea we wanna tolerate the feeling and our emotions are key here because this is the part that most people will skip. You have to be willing to feel uncomfortable. You have to feel the discomfort, and that might be resistance, doubt, boredom, uncertainty, fear. And instead of trying to get rid of those feelings, we just allow them. We just feel them. Most of these emotions, these feelings will move through you if you allow them in about 90 seconds, two minutes. It's when we resist them or push them down or trying not to feel them that they persist and they can, in some instances, grow, become stronger, more resistant. But if we allow them and we feel them. Then we can move through them and just allowing it to be there and going anyway. Because you don't have to feel amazing to go out for a walk. You don't have to feel amazing to do three pushups. You don't have to feel excited to have oatmeal for breakfast, but we have to be willing. We have to just go anyway, no matter what we're feeling and just allowing it to be there. It's not gonna harm us. Then the eye is we wanna initiate small action. Make the action. When you're starting out super small, almost ridiculously small, you don't have to change your whole life. You don't have to solve every problem. You don't have to write your novel. Or run a marathon today. Again, with my pushups, I'm doing three. The point is not, and eventually I will get to the point where I'm doing more, building the muscle, creating what I want, but I wanted to start with the habit initially just to get into the practice. Of doing what I said I would do. And so three. And you see, like I told you, my brain is already, was already arguing with me just for three, three pushups literally takes 10 seconds. So start small. Your brain's gonna argue with you anyway, but you will find it more manageable to start with something small. So you open the document, you put on your shoes, you write one paragraph, you send one email, and this is where you start building that habit. You start building the practice, you start building the evidence, you start doing what you said you're going to do, and you are building trust with yourself. And this is key because this is the basis of a stronger. Better relationship with yourself. It's the foundation on which you're going to build everything that you want. When you start with this, then there's nothing you won't be able to do. Then the O is to observe your brain. Remember going back to that awareness. As soon as you start, your brain's gonna have thoughts. Just let them be there. Don't believe them. Just let them go by like a cloud in the sky. This isn't enough. This is pointless. Just stop. It's too hard, it's too cold, too tired. It's okay. Just let it flow by like a cloud. And then the N is to normalize and repeat. This is just the work. This is it. There's no secret. This is how we create change. It's not one big dramatic moment. It is being consistent and persistent. Small, repeated actions every day we show up, we do the work, we keep going. That's it. We know what our brain is offering us, and we go anyway. We allow the emotions, we watch the cloud, the we watch the thoughts flow by like clouds, and then we go again and again and again. And so if you are someone who keeps saying, I wanna make changes in my life, I feel like I'm meant for more. I feel like I'm treading water. I'm still trying to figure it out, but you're not taking action. This is why, you're waiting for a feeling that isn't required. It's not necessary, and you're avoiding discomfort that is completely necessary. That discomfort is gonna be there. And you are underestimating how powerful small action really is. Your future, whatever it is you wanna create, whatever changes you wanna make is not gonna be built in some perfect moment. It's small. Small decisions, small actions made every day consistently and persistently on a random Tuesday. When you don't feel like it, when you forget, when you're tired, there's no secret sauce. There's no magic. You just go anyway. So ask yourself today, what is one small action I can take that I'm willing to do? Not the perfect action, not the big action, the thing, life changing or earth shattering. Just the next one, and then go do it. And no matter what your brain offers you, you do it anyway. You can do a 30 day challenge like I'm doing and I've got a recipe card, where I've written down pushups, oatmeal, and I'm checking it off each day, your brain gets ahead of dopamine every time you make a little check mark. So it's, it's a worthwhile practice. And then just keep going. All right. That's what I have for you today. Thank you for listening. If you want some additional help, and there's nothing wrong with asking for help. I have a couple of ways that can really help to move you forward. First, there's the clarity audit, which is where for $29, you fill out a form, answer a few questions, I take a look at it, do my analysis, and then record a personalized video for you, a 20 minute video. It helps you to see where you're getting stuck. The thinking that's holding you back and how we can make some shifts and start to move yourself forward with some tangible next steps so that action becomes a little bit easier. You stop spinning and you start moving. So that's for $29. The link will be in the show notes. They're fun. Really. I love doing them. I've loved sharing them. I've had great feedback from my clients. It's worth your time. It's worth your effort. So I highly recommend it. And then of course, we have the Three Secrets webinar next week, which is March 26th at 7:00 PM Eastern. We'll be on Zoom for one hour and this is your special invitation. It's $7. I'm going to be going live. I want to give you some really tangible ideas and information that can help you move from my best years are behind me to, I'm just getting started because again, I will tell you what we're thinking is going to create our emotions, and our emotions are going to drive our actions. And so if we are stuck in the loop of my best years are behind me, that's exactly what you're gonna create. So this is to help you stop spinning, stop overthinking, and create some momentum in your life because here's what it's costing you to not figure this out. It's another six months of saying, I'll start next week, or I'll start next month, and it's another year of watching other people change their lives while you stay exactly where you are. Another version of you who knows she's meant for more but isn't living it. That's the cost. And I will tell you, telling yourself that you just can't follow through, that you don't do what you say you're gonna do, is also just a thought. It is not a fact. It's not terminal, it's not permanent, it's not a condition. It is something that you can change. This is the work that we're doing. So for $7, join me. You will spend more than that on coffee this week, and you'll forget about it by tomorrow. So this I think, will be the start of something that can really help you to shift. And if you can't make it live, don't worry, the replay will be sent to you. So if you are done just thinking about change and you are ready to actually start moving. Grab your spot. The link will be in the show notes and I can't wait to see you there. Thanks everybody for joining me. Talk to you next week. Bye-bye.