Stop chasing freedom

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Tri

Hi everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. So a couple of announcements before we get to the episode. the first is that on the 24th, which is the Wednesday at 2:00 PM Eastern Time, I'm gonna be hosting a new free masterclass webinar called Breaking Free From Stuck. It is gonna be all things stuck. Why we get stuck. It's not what you think and the tools that I use with my clients to help them get unstuck, I like to say I get them unstuck for good because you learn the tools and skills that you need. To help you to move forward, to manage your mind, to process your emotions, to let go of your past, to build a better relationship with yourself, which includes self-trust, self-confidence, self-love, and then working on the future. You getting really clear about what you want and where you wanna go, and how to get there, and what your life looks like and who you become. So we do lots of work. And I wanna go over that. I wanna introduce you to my new brand new coaching membership, which is called You, Redefined, and I will put the link to the webinar in the show notes as well as the link to you redefined. I really want to go a little bit in depth in a separate episode as to what is you redefined. I haven't really done that yet, but suffice to say the link will be in the show note. You can come and check it out. It is $19 a month, and you can try it free for seven days and cancel any time, but it's really exciting. We're building a great little community there. You will have access to bite-sized videos, worksheets, journal prompts, exercises, and a private podcast as well as a 20 minute coaching session with me each month. So it's a phenomenal value. We're over-delivering. We're giving you what you need. It's a great introduction to the very best tools and skills that I have. I do have big plans for it, but you can get in now as a founding member and lock in that $19 a month membership fee and I mean, lock that in for good. So it is really a phenomenal value. it's where I have my best material and I'm super excited to share that with you. So do check that out. But if you wanna learn more, you can also come to the webinar on the 24th and the link will be in the show notes there. Alright. Let's dive into the episode. Let me ask you this. Where in your life do you feel most trapped? Is it your schedule, your family obligations, your job, or maybe like me, you notice it showing up in your relationship with food? We all have something in our lives where our brain tells us, I don't have a choice here. This is just what I have to do. And when that happens, it doesn't feel like freedom at all. It feels like obligation, pressure. And of course it brings with it frustration and resentment. I hear this so often with my clients, and I know I've lived it myself. Say you want to eat better, but food feels like your only escape or indulgence or reward. You want to enjoy your life. But the only way you know how is through sneaking little pleasures, not fully living in the moments you've created and you do all the things, take care of the house, the kids, the job, the errands. But instead of celebrating your life, you celebrate the quick relief, the cookie, the glass of wine, the moment on the couch, scrolling. It's not the food. Or the glass of wine, or the scrolling that keeps us stuck. It's the thought behind it, which is usually some flavor of, this is the only way I get to feel free, or this is my reward. And if freedom only comes through the escape, then all the rest of your life starts to feel like a prison. Here's the problem. If we don't learn how to create freedom on purpose, then we're always chasing it outside of ourselves. We're looking externally for the next thing, the next dopamine hit. We keep looking to food, drinks, shopping, or distractions like Netflix or social media to feel a sense of relief. We judge ourselves for it, which makes us feel even more stuck and even worse. And meanwhile, our actual lives, the lives we've worked so hard to create, start to feel heavy, obligatory, like something we're enduring instead of enjoying. And that cycle just doesn't wear us down. It teaches our brain that the only way to get a break to feel free and To feel better is to escape. But what if that's not true? Here's the shift. Freedom isn't in the food or the wine or the responsibilities or any of the circumstances of your life. Freedom is a feeling, and feelings always come from what we think. That means that you don't have to wait for a vacation. You don't have to wait for a perfectly clean house or an empty calendar to feel free. You can generate it right now with your mind. So here are my steps to creating freedom. First notice where you've outsourced your freedom. Ask yourself, where am I telling myself? The only way I can feel free is if I indulge, escape, or avoid something. Awareness is always the first step. You can't change what you don't see. Second. Separate the circumstance from the thought. Doing the laundry isn't a prison sentence. Feeding your family isn't shackles. The housework isn't inherently obligation. Those are just facts. The sentence I have to do, this is the thought creating the lack of freedom. So the third step then is to experiment with new thoughts. Try some of these on to create wiggle room. I choose to do this and I like my reasons. I get to take care of this part of my life. Freedom isn't in the task, it's in how I think about it. Even something as simple as I'm in control of how I show up here can shift that feeling. And I work on this with my clients all the time because when they tell me they have to do something and they have to get through something and they don't have a choice, I remind them that they do and that they are actively choosing it every time they do it. And they have to be clear in their reasons and like those reasons. And remind themselves every single time that they're choosing to do this. And then finally the fourth step is creating freedom by honoring yourself. True freedom isn't about indulging your primitive brain every time it wants a dopamine hit, and it will want a lot of dopamine hits. Freedom is honoring the decisions you already made that align with who you want to be. When you follow through on your commitments to yourself, that's when you're at your freest. Not because you escaped life, but because you owned it. You have used your power to create it. Freedom is never out there. It's never in the cookie or the glass of wine, or even in the perfectly balanced schedule. It's always something you create inside of yourself. And if you're feeling stuck right now, if you're celebrating food more than your own life, if you're living an obligation instead of choice, then this is the work that will change everything. This is exactly the work I do with my clients. Learn to generate the feelings they want on purpose instead of waiting for their life to change or for food, or for other escapes to give it to them. You can create your own freedom and once you learn how it changes everything else, your relationship with yourself, your choices, your life. So if you're ready to stop chasing freedom in little escapes and start creating it in your real life, I'd love to help you. there are two ways you can work with me. One is in You, Redefined my monthly membership link is in the show notes. The other is the powerful one-to-one private coaching sessions. We can work together directly week after week. And really pour some gasoline on the fire to move you forward and help you create whatever it is you want the link to my calendars in the show notes, book a consultation with me and let's get started. This work matters. You matter. Your life matters. Let's do the work together. Let me show you how so that you can create and have whatever it is you want. Thanks everybody for joining me and. As a favor, if you have a minute to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast, please do so. It really does help in getting this podcast out to more listeners. It, it helps especially on Apple Podcast to be in the recommendations and for people to find it. So I truly appreciate if you take a minute to do that now. Thanks guys. I'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.