Why am I not enough

Hey everybody. Welcome to mini episode Monday of This Daring Adventure. I am your host, Trista Guertin, master coach and creator of The Unstuck Blueprint, where I help women gain clarity, confidence, and calm in just 90 days. I sound like a commercial there, don't I? Alright, well listen, today's bite-sized episode is for the woman who is thinking, I'm not enough, and I think we have all been there, I think we can all say safely that we have thought this at some point. I'm not smart enough. I'm not fast enough, I'm not doing enough. I'm not important enough. I'm not good enough. I think the one I that comes up frequently for me is I'm not good enough. Right. I don't have what it takes. I'm just not good enough. And so if you can relate, if this thought has been quietly running the show in your life, or your work or your relationships, stick with me because we're gonna do a little bit of work today to shift it. Now let's talk about the real weight of the thought. I'm not enough. It might sound like just a passing thought, but it doesn't pass, does it? It sits in our chests during meetings. It whispers when we receive an email and go to open it and maybe something from our boss, and it panics when you're trying to sleep or in the quiet moments, and it's telling you to do more, push harder, work longer, and just be better. And likely if you're anything like me, this thought has been with you for years, I can probably trace it back to, gosh, grade school. I'm trying to think. Like grade school. Definitely high school, but for sure there's there, there are thoughts there that if I sat and thought about it for a while, I could find in grade school and you know, we have this comparison. We look at others, we want to prove ourselves to our teachers and our parents. And there's a lot of pressure to perform and to live up to certain standards to get good grades, to be nice to do well. And then it follows us throughout our lives, high school, grad school, to our first job, every performance review. Right? it's something that I still face today as a coach and as a business owner, and constantly comparing and thinking and believing that I should be better. I'm going to do another episode on this maybe later in the week or next week, but I'm starting another podcast and it's bringing up a lot of really interesting things for me, and that I am offering episode guest spots to other coaches and there's a lot that comes up. it's really interesting and like I said, I will do a separate episode on that. But let's go back to, this thought that we've had for years, decades, for most of us, that we're not enough, that we're not good enough. And what it does is it makes us freeze. It makes us overwork or panic, or just wanna quit entirely. it creates anxiety, imposter syndrome, and constant second guessing. I would say for myself, it feels, I don't want to say like depression or despair, but it definitely brings me down. It definitely makes me feel low and heavy. And the worst part is that it feels like the truth. It feels like a fact. It feels like I have all the evidence in the world and this is just the way it is. But as a coach, I will tell you that I am not enough, whatever flavor that you're using against yourself is not actually a fact, and it is just a practiced belief. And a belief is just a thought you keep on thinking over and over again. And so you have simply repeated it so many times that your brain has gotten really good at proving it true. And your brain is so efficient that it filters all of your experiences only letting in the failures, the doubts, and the struggles, and it's ignoring or blocking out everything that you do well. You're not paying attention to that. so the good news is that because your brain can be trained to believe I'm not enough, it can also absolutely be trained to believe something else, something different, something new, something helpful, And this is where real confidence starts. It's not by achieving more or being more, being different, being better, being someone different. It's by choosing new thoughts that serve you now that are more helpful. And here's the process that I use with my clients inside the Unstuck Blueprint to begin untangling from, I am not enough, I'm not good enough, and you can start today. So step one is always awareness. Catch the thought in the act usually you can tell from how you're feeling, feel the panic or the dread or the anxiety, and just pause and ask, what am I believing about myself right now? And if I am not good enough, is there, you want to name it? So you're naming the emotion and you're naming the thought. And this simple awareness is the beginning of change and of choice. Step two is to disarm the thought. Say this out loud. This is just a thought I've been practicing. It's not the truth. You don't have to argue with it. You don't have to force yourself to feel amazing because that won't work in the long term. You just want to recognize it as optional. And I really here in this process want to make sure that you understand that it's okay that this thought has come up. And it doesn't mean that anything has gone wrong. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. It makes sense that you're thinking this thought for probably a number of reasons, if only for the fact that you've been thinking it so long and it's just a habit. So this is just a thought I've been practicing. It's not the truth. Just observe it. Allow it to be there. Then you want to offer a new possibility to your brain. You want to pick one thought that feels slightly better. This is not a lie. This is not rainbows and daisies. It's a bridge thought. It's a ladder thought. we want to feel just a little bit better. We want to choose something that resonates in your body, so maybe you can try: maybe I'm exactly enough for what I'm meant to do. I'm learning to trust myself. I showed up today and that's what matters. It's safe to believe I'm capable. I'm figuring this out bit by bit, step by step. Write down your new thought. Put it on a sticky note. Set it as a phone reminder. Repeat it like it matters because it does, and feel it generate that feeling in you. Step four is to evidence hunt. Every night this week, I want you to list three tiny pieces of evidence that support your new belief. Teeny, tiny. Maybe you answered a hard question. Maybe you asked for help. Maybe you finished a task, maybe you said no to something you didn't want to do. What you focus on grows. It expands, so grow something better. Now, here's what starts to happen when you do this. You'll stop panicking every time your boss emails you because you know you can handle this. You know you've got this. You stop needing to prove yourself constantly because you know you're already 100% worthy and you are 100% worthy. Just because you're a human on the planet, it's not even negotiable. You just decide that that's the way it is, and that's the way it is for every single person on the planet. And then you stop measuring your worth by your productivity, and instead you start trusting your value. You feel calm, even in high pressure environments, and you become the version of you that is confident, clear, and enough because you believe it. So this is a process. This isn't going to be one and done. This isn't going to be magically happening overnight, but using this process can help you to just start to move yourself towards this. Ultimately you will feel better. And when you feel better, you show up completely differently at work, at home, in every single relationship, in every single area of your life, it has that ripple effect. And this is the work that we do inside the Unstuck Blueprint. this is coaching. It's not just mindset work, but it includes the nervous system, work, belief, re-patterning, and creating a grounded, powerful relationship with yourself that changes everything. So if this resonated with you, and If you're ready to stop living at the mercy of old thoughts, like, I'm not enough, I'd love to invite you for a free call with me. The link to my calendar will be in the show notes. In just one conversation, we can uncover what's keeping you stuck and create a path forward. You can go from spinning in self-doubt to living with clarity, confidence, and calm, and that's exactly the work we do. So book your free call now. Let's get you out of your head and back into your power and on your way to creating whatever it is you want and becoming whomever it is you want because you are enough, and I want to make sure that you believe it. I'll talk to you soon.