You've outgrown you

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor, and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody.

Welcome back to the podcast.

If you have been walking around saying, I feel stuck, or I feel lost, I don't know what I want, or I don't even know who I am anymore, I want you to hear me. You're not lost. You've just outgrown who you used to be. And there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's exactly what is supposed to happen.

The problem is that we're not really taught how to evolve on purpose. We're sort of just letting things go until all of a sudden we realize, oh, this isn't working for me. And so that's what we're going to take a look at today. Let's start with this idea of being lost or stuck because we say it like it's a diagnosis, like something has gone wrong, but here's what I want to offer you.

Feeling stuck or feeling lost doesn't mean that you're broken. It doesn't mean that something has gone wrong. It doesn't mean that you've done something wrong. It simply means that the old version of you is no longer a match for the life you are meant to live next. It means that the old version of you is no longer matching the life you are about to create, that you want to live next, that you want to evolve into.

And this is not a crisis. It's simply a transition. It's like a snake shedding its skin. If you didn't know that was supposed to happen, you'd think that something was wrong, right?

But it's not wrong. It's actually required, and this is the same with you. Your restlessness, your frustration, your boredom- these aren't problems.

They're signals. It means your next evolution is calling. Your life is calling. Are you going to answer?

Now, here's why this gets confusing and why most people get stuck and stay stuck. It's because we were taught how to grow up, but not how to grow through. We were taught to play roles. Be a good daughter, a good wife, a good employee, a good mother, a good friend.

But no one pulled this aside and said, Hey, just so you know, every few years you might feel like none of this fits anymore.

That's normal. That's growth. Don't panic, it simply means it's time to evolve.

A change is coming, but no one tells us this. so when it starts to feel like things that used to work don't work anymore, when you feel disconnected from your job or your routine or even your partner, you think you're doing it wrong. The truth is you've outgrown your current identity, and that's not a problem. I want you to think of it as an opportunity. So let me give you some clear signs you're in this space right now.

Maybe you feel a low grade resentment or restlessness. Maybe you keep fantasizing about quitting something. Your job, your city, your relationship, your marriage, your whole life. You're craving something more, but you can't name what that is yet you feel tired of your own patterns, but you're unsure how to change them.

Let me reassure you that all of that is totally normal and totally human, and it's exactly what happens when a new version of you is trying to emerge.

You're not stuck.

You're in the gap between who you were and who you're becoming. Now, let's talk a little bit about what to actually do with this, because it's easy for me to tell you this is where you are, but how do you actually go about changing it, especially when you're feeling stuck and it can feel really tight and really hard to get any movement, to unwind it, to change it. This is the part that no one teaches us. It's how to evolve on purpose, and I wanna give you a couple of simple steps that will change everything for you.

The first is to name what's no longer fitting. You have to at least be honest with yourself here. You don't have to tell anybody.

You don't have to do anything about it right now, but at least be honest with yourself. Be clear about what it is that you feel you've outgrown, that you wanna change.

And you can ask yourself, what parts of me feel performative, fake, or exhausted?

Where are you pretending? Where are you shrinking? Where are you saying yes when you mean no? You cannot grow into your next self while clinging to outdated roles.

So name what is no longer working for you. Again, you don't have to tell anybody right now, you don't have to change anything, but at least be honest with yourself and it's okay.

The next step is you want to start creating a little space for that new identity.

Now this part is uncomfortable. change is uncomfortable, but so is staying the same. You might want to skip this part, but don't. There's a void that always comes after you release the old and before you see the new.

We hate this part because it feels uncertain and our primitive part of our brain hates the uncertainty. It feels risky. It feels dangerous, and our brain is all about keeping us safe.

So it will be giving you a lot of fear. It will be defaulting to the negatives. It will tell you all about problems. But this is not a mistake.

This is reinvention.

So give yourself time, give yourself space.

Get curious. Start asking yourself, who am I becoming? What do I want now? Who do I want to become next? Take your time. Explore. It can help to journal, write, meditate, go for walks. Give yourself that space and that time and that grace, and be patient and curious.

This may not be something that comes overnight. This may not be one and done. So give yourself that space. Be compassionate with yourself and keep going. And then once you have some clarity, you want to start acting like her now, this is some of the most powerful work that you can do for yourself. This is the part that changes lives. You don't wait until your life looks differently to show up differently.

You become the future version of you Now speak how she would speak, decide how she would decide. Set boundaries like she would take care of your body, your time, your energy, the way she would. This is how you collapse the timeline.

This is how change stops being a concept and starts being a lifestyle. Now, let's be honest, why don't most people do this? It's scary. It requires letting go of certainty. It means other people might not like the new version of you. It means your life is going to change.

And so yes, some people won't come with you. It forces you to stop blaming your circumstances and take responsibility for your future.

But here's the thing. You can either stay stuck and comfortable, and I'm not even sure what you're feeling right now is comfortable. Or you can get free and embrace the discomfort because that discomfort you're already in right now, it's just something that you're used to, something that is comfortable in its discomfort because. It's what you know and it's what you're used to, and your brain feels that that is safer than change, than something different than taking a risk. 

So either you're going to move your life forward and embrace the discomfort of change, or you just keep re repeat, or you just keep repeating the same flavor of discomfort that you're in right now. Year after year, over and over again like most other people. So let me say it again. You're not lost. You're just done being who you used to be. And this is normal and it's okay.

Nothing has gone wrong. You have to let it be okay.

You have to let it be exciting, and if you want help evolving on purpose, that's exactly what I do with my clients.

I help women build a powerful relationship with themselves. I help them to manage their mind and their emotions and build a clear vision for their future. I help you to get that calm. I help you to build that confidence and help you to move forward to create that next chapter of your life on purpose, intentionally, deliberately, powerfully.

If this resonates with you, if it's hitting home, I invite you to book a discovery call with me now.

The link is in the show notes.

We do this work together. We take all of these concepts and these ideas and apply it directly to your life to help you to let go. To free yourself and to move yourself forward towards what you want, and the results are life changing. So let's do that work. Let's create whatever it is you want for yourself. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, share and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. I would appreciate it. It helps me to get these messages out to more people, more women like you who need to hear this message. Thank you for joining me and don't forget the link to book Your call is in the show notes and I will talk to you again soon. Thanks everybody. Bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin.

We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life Again, as always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one-on-one coaching session.

You can also follow Trista on Instagram at Tristaguertincoaching.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts.

Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.