Doing Hard Things

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to This Daring Adventure. This is episode 48. Today. I wanted to, first of all, invite you to a private coaching call. I offer these free of charge. The link will be in the show notes. It is a private one to one one hour private coaching session with me. This is your opportunity to try coaching for yourself. Get clarity on any issue that you wish and learn a little bit more about my Meant for More three month coaching program, which helps women get unstuck and move them forward to creating the life. they want. I will be talking a lot more about this program in the months to come. I am just in the final stages of solidifying the entire content that will be available for this program, and I'm really excited to share it with you. It takes the most important steps that I've learned, including the tools and the skills that will help you to get clarity, calm and confidence all of which you need in order to figure out what it is You want and start to take the steps forward to transforming your life. I truly believe that anything is possible and I want to show you how to do it for yourself. Once you learn these tools and these skills, you will never be stuck again. That is the beauty of coaching. So if you're at all interested, please check out the show notes, click on the link and on my calendar. If you can't find time, don't hesitate to reach out, email me and let me know. And we will set something up to fit your schedule. I love meeting all of you and talking to you, learning more about your lives and sharing what I've learned as a coach. So this is my opportunity to give back and to help you take a small step forward. All right, so let's dive into the episode. This is all about doing hard things. I love the idea of doing hard things. I think this is the way that we grow. This is how we transform and change and really create big things in our lives. We think that hard means bad. We think it means that it shouldn't be this way and that something has gone wrong, but in actuality, that's not true at all. And I want to dive in a little bit about what you can do to embrace the hard. Do the hard things because it's going to change your life. So the key is letting it be hard. Things will be hard. Life can be hard. We face all sorts of events and issues as we go through our lives. We will never be able to escape it. It could be a diagnosis. It could be a divorce. It could be a job loss. It could be death. It could be breakup. It could setting a goal for yourself, running a marathon, or trying to learn something new, starting a business, finding a new job, whatever it is, it will be hard. And that's going to be a part of our experience. And if we can let it be hard, drop the resistance. Stop fighting against it. Know that the hard is going to be there and arguing with reality adds an extra layer of suffering about the situation and creates physical suffering for you. So the most important thing you can do is just drop the resistance. Stop arguing that it shouldn't be this way and that it's not fair and allow it to be hard. It's hard. It's okay. It's supposed to be hard. Life is going to be hard at times. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time. Then, you want to move into acceptance. This is what we've got. This is what we're facing. It may be a phase, it may be a week, it may be a day, it may be a season. It can be hard. And just accepting that, that this is your time, and this is going to be hard, and nothing has gone wrong. So you've dropped the resistance, and now you just accept that this is the way it is. Next, you want to allow your feelings now that you've dropped the resistance, you've moved into acceptance, tap into how you are feeling. Can you become aware of what's going on in your body? Can you name that emotion? Can you identify it and sit with it and allow it to be there? Typically, we can experience our emotions in four ways. We resist it, which is basically trying to keep it from, from happening. and trying to change it. We react to it, which means sometimes that we are yelling, screaming, not talking to the person, slamming doors. Usually a big reaction, similar to, to what your toddler might do. You might buffer or numb. So instead of feeling the emotion, you try to Distract yourself and numb it with cookies or ice cream or Netflix or shopping over exercising overworking. Some of these things that just keep us busy from feeling what we need to be feeling what we're actually feeling and we put over top something that gives our brain a little bit of dopamine and gives us that Positive feeling emotion or a lack of emotion sometimes in order to, to cope and to manage. But if we can allow it and just allow ourselves to be there, feel it and process it, which is something that I do a lot in my coaching work because processing is the greatest way to free yourself of it and to move yourself forward, to let it go. Just allowing it to be there and carrying it around with you sometimes during your day if you don't have time to process it Knowing that you can feel it and it is just a vibration in your body. It's not going to hurt you it's gonna feel uncomfortable if you're feeling sadness if you're feeling grief if you're feeling disappointment or Frustrated it's not going to be pleasant but It won't harm you, and if you can allow it, it will start to dissipate. It will start to lessen eventually, and you will be able to, to move through it. What we do when we react, or we resist, or we numb and buffer our feelings, then it tends to stay with us that much longer. We carry that emotional charge with us for a longer time instead of just allowing it to move through us. So really just focusing on allowing yourself to feel the emotion can be freeing and will help you to move through some of this emotion quicker. Don't make yourself out to be the victim. You are not powerless. You always have the power as to how you want to respond to any situation. Life is not happening to you. You are not a victim of your circumstance. Life is not unfair to you personally. Don't allow yourself to go down that rabbit hole and that thought pattern that somehow this has been created to punish you or that unfair to you personally and that you have no power and no control over the situation. You always have the power. to choose how you want to respond, how you want to think about the situation, how you want to feel about the situation, and how you want to show up. Know that nothing has gone wrong. Whatever you are experiencing, Whether it is in this circumstance or a feeling that you're experiencing, nothing has gone wrong. It is all a part of our human experience. And knowing that this is just a part of being human, will help to move you out of that victim mode as well. Know that we're not always going to be happy. Life will have negative emotion. Life will have circumstances that are hard and challenging. There will be death, there will be loss, there will be grief. You're not supposed to be happy all of the time. And if you are in a season, if you are in a period where you are experiencing the hard, and it seems like there is more negative emotion than positive, happy, joy, know that that is just a part of what we are supposed to experience. And you are not supposed to be happy all the time, but it doesn't mean like it's going to always be like this. And in fact, once you allow yourself to gain that awareness of how you're feeling, you can start to generate some of the emotions that you desire. Maybe not in that moment. If you've experienced a major life event, you're not going to want to go to joy and happiness right away. But eventually, You can, and you will be able to move through this. Nothing has gone wrong. Take time for self care. Make sure you're doing things like eating properly, exercising, journaling, whatever it is that helps you to calm and to feel better, whatever it is that helps you to feel calmer and more relaxed. Do that, especially in times when things are hard. Make sure you get enough sleep, drink lots of water, watch funny movies, read something uplifting and enjoyable. Take the time to do the things that you enjoy most and that will take care of your overall mental and physical and emotional health. Don't complain. Nobody wants to hear complaining. Get some support, somebody that you can talk to, whether it's a good friend or a family member or a therapist or a coach. Get the support you need. Don't go around complaining to everybody about your situation and the way things are, that only really reinforces it in your mind, that there's negativity, there's a problem, and it keeps you fixated on the problem and not a solution and not moving yourself forward. So the less you complain about it, the better. And then keep going, keep showing up, keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Ask yourself, what's the next best thing I can do in this situation? How can I take care of myself? How can I build my resilience? How can I move myself forward? How can I process some of this emotion? How do I want to show up in this situation? All of these are really great questions to ask your brain and give it something to focus on. This goes back to not complaining, because complaining is your brain on autopilot, and it will become a habit, and it will become a thought loop, and you will just repeat, repeat, repeat. Most of the thoughts you have during the course of the day will be repeats of the thoughts you had the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. So consciously and deliberately asking your brain questions and giving it something to think about and to focus on will serve you the best and will help to move you forward and to process and Allow yourself this experience Whatever the hard thing is. Know that you can do this. You just have to keep going. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and ask yourself these great questions to move yourself forward bit by bit, step by step, doing hard things Experiencing the hard in life is a part of our experience. Nothing has gone wrong. And it is these hard things, even though in the moment they're uncomfortable and they're challenging, they are the things that make us the strongest. And... Build our resilience and help us to learn and to grow and make a stronger for whatever comes next Whether it's something that happens to you or it's something that you choose to do and if you can see this in that way That's what will serve you. It's not like you have to love it but you want to understand that this is happening for you, not to you and believe that ultimately This will make you stronger and that there will be lessons in this that you can take and that will help you to move yourself forward and grow. Alright, that's what I have for you today. As I mentioned before, I would love to do a private coaching call with you. The link to the calendar is in the show notes. Let's chat. Let's talk about what hard things you're facing. You can bring any issue that you wish. If you have a moment to rate, review, share, and subscribe, I would love and appreciate that. Thank you so much in advance, this helps me to get the podcast out to new listeners and new subscribers. Thanks everybody. Have a great week. Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again. As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session. You can also follow Trista on Instagram at tristavguertin. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us on Apple podcasts. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.