The Power of Self-Image

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast, where we work on bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be in order to live a bigger and bolder life. In this podcast, we will provide inspiration, tips, and skills you need to make your life the adventure you want it to be. Here's your host, mindset mentor and life coach, Trista Guertin.

Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of This Daring Adventure. This is episode 58, The Power of Self Image. I actually already recorded this episode and for some reason the internet didn't capture it and so I have to redo it and it's going to be even better. That's my thought. It's going to be even better than it was before.

So here we go.

Today I wanted to talk about self image. And what it is, how it's formed, why it's important, and how we can spend a little bit of time consciously crafting our self image so that it does serve us.

Self image is something that is quite important when we think about what we want to create in our lives and what we want to go after and what we want to achieve. And.

I don't think most of us really spend any time reflecting on what our self image is and how we can consciously create it so that we do achieve the success that we want. Because otherwise, most of the time it is unconscious.

It's things we've taken on in our past, and it really is holding us back. It's keeping us from going after our dreams, and it's keeping us playing small.

So what is self image? Self image is the idea that one has of one's abilities, appearance, and personality. It's all the things that you've collected over the years about how you are, what you can do, what you can't do, and why. And, It is basically created unconsciously. It is something that we have crafted over the years from information and feedback and criticism that we have received as children.

As adolescents and onward to young adulthood and then into our thirties, forties and fifties. But it is something that, in particular when we're children, we may have received feedback criticism from people that we've taken on and kept over these years. It can be particularly powerful when we're children and adolescents because our brain hasn't fully formed yet. It's not matured. And so we take this on and we carry it with us and we don't have the ability to evaluate whether it is actually true or not for us, whether it's serving us or not, and whether we want to keep it. And as we keep this along the way, as we age, as we go through our lives. We don't consciously spend any time analyzing what our self image is or crafting it intentionally and on purpose. Generally, and we all do this, I'm sure you have examples in your own life, we walk around making statements, that we've repeated so often, we believe they are facts.

Something such as, I'm not good at math, I'm not good with money, I'm terrible at sports, I'm not that type of person, I can't imagine that I could do that, I can't see myself, right?

All of these things that we state about ourselves, that we've repeated so often, we believe they're a fact, but they are actually not. They are just ideas and perceptions that we have about ourselves and we've thought them so often, we've repeated them so many times, they've become beliefs.

A belief is just a thought you keep on thinking. And when you repeat it, it becomes a well worn neural pathway in our brain.

So it becomes second nature to think this and to, it feels true. And we just keep on perpetuating it throughout our lives without consciously understanding or challenging it. no one tells us that these are in fact optional and that we can let go of what we don't want and choose new thoughts and new beliefs and an identity and an image of ourselves that does serve us.

So why is this important? Why is it important to consciously craft your self image? How you perceive yourself and depending on whether it's positive or negative, will affect your ability to create success in your life.

A negative self image will make you doubtful and underplay your capabilities and capacity. Then you are less likely to try new things, to set big goals, to go after your dreams. And this can be in any area of your life, right? It's the way you view yourself, whether you're attractive or unattractive, whether you're intelligent or unintelligent, whether you're healthy, whether you're close to the ideal version of yourself.

And also, how you perceive or how you think others perceive you all of this is included in your self image and Depending on again how positive or negative it will be it is the primary cause of your success if you want to improve any area of your life, whether it's financial, whether it's your job, career, business, relationships, health, weight, you have to change what's going on the inside. You have to change your self image. And then as you start to do that work, as you start to alter your self image.

The circumstances and the outside conditions, external conditions, will begin to change. If you don't change that story that you're telling yourself, if you don't work on the beliefs that you have, and if you don't change that self image of yourself, all you are doing is changing the symptoms. You're just addressing the symptoms, but not the root cause. The root cause is going to be your self image.

Now, say for instance, you want to lose 25 pounds. You can throw out the cookies, start going for extra walks, and have a salad for dinner. In the short term, you will probably have some success, what you believe about yourself is going to dictate in the long term, whether you can sustain that behavior or not, you probably won't succeed. You want to look at, do you believe you are a person who can lose weight? Do you believe you are a person who eats salads for dinner? It may look like working on your belief in sustaining motivation in being disciplined and being focused in committing to a healthier lifestyle.

All of those things make up part of your self image. And if you're not addressing that, then, in the long term, you will revert back to the behaviors that caused you to put on weight in the first place. In other instances, it will hold you back because you won't apply for certain jobs. You won't apply for things that will take you to the next level. You won't go after what it is you truly want because you're telling yourself a story that it's not possible for you, that you will fail, that it hasn't been possible before, that you're not that type of person, that you're not lucky, that you don't have that skill.

And as long as that soundtrack is running through your brain, it doesn't matter what actions you take in the short term, that soundtrack has to change for it to be sustainable in the long-term.

So what can you do to start to change and improve and build the self image that you want? I always like to start with awareness. You have to have awareness of where you are currently. start by making a list of everything that makes you who you are, everything you think about yourself, maybe everything that you've been criticized about or told, given feedback, positive or negative, that you have taken on. And that you still think about good or bad, everything in between, write it down as much as you can on a page. Then you can see what you're dealing with. And having that awareness is half the battle. Most of this goes on unconsciously in our brains. And we're not aware of what we're thinking and how it's affecting us. Create that list.

The next thing you want to do is a little exercise that, to me, it helps you to refine down to what's most important that you really want to keep and to evolve in yourself, to nurture in yourself. Imagine now that you are about to take a trip and you have a suitcase and you've packed in your suitcase, everything on your list, all the good and bad, all the trades, all the criticism, all the feedback, everything that you define as. It's now in your suitcase. You get to the counter to check in for your flight. The bag is overweight. You need to remove some items.

Start by removing 30%. Cross off on your list the 30 percent that you want to let go of that you want to get rid of. Do that three times. Remove 90 percent of the excess baggage. Cross it all off. Now, what you have remaining in your suitcase and what you're going to take with you as you go forward on your next adventure, I might add, is the 10 percent that you want to keep, that you want to value, and that you want to nurture in yourself. This is where you're going to focus your attention for now. Appreciating that you have these, focusing your energy where focus flows, energy goes.

This is what you're going to pay attention to. This is where you're going to look for evidence for, of that you have these and that you can grow them and develop them. Focus your time and energy on these 10 percent that you want to keep.

Next, another good exercise is listing 10 things that you really love about yourself. It's very easy to criticize ourselves. It's very easy to find all the negative things, but can you make a list of 10 things that you really like and love about yourself?

And again, it's focusing on the positive that will focus your energy and your attention on these things so that you can create more so that what you appreciate appreciates. It grows in value for you. You focus your attention on it and there, and then you will be able to find more and more things that you value in yourself.

It gives your brain a task to focus on those things and it keeps it. away from focusing time and energy on the negative, which is where it likes to default to. But it's not going to serve you. It's an effort of your brain to protect you, but it's not necessary these days.

By creating this list and focusing your brain on this, will give you the momentum you need to go forward and to continue to focus on the positive, which will help you gather more evidence and reinforce the idea that you have these qualities and that you can build on them going forward.

Next, spending time visualizing. do the things you want to do, say the things you want to say, be the person that you want to be, and feel the way you want to feel. These are all important components of creating your future self, creating that image of yourself that you want to embody and consciously create.

Taking 5 or 10 minutes to visualize this a couple of times a day. You can do it first thing in the morning or just before bed and just imagine doing these things, saying these things, being these things, feeling that way. Your brain doesn't know the difference between what is visualized and imagined and what is real. It will work to close that gap. in order to undertake this exercise, you might just want to have a quiet place. Relax, count backwards from 10 to 1 and get into a frame of mind where you're completely relaxed and at ease before you begin this visualization. But the visualization is something that I always recommend to my clients. It's a powerful way to start consciously creating what it is you want in your life. to yourself and your self image.

Next, journal. If you caught my last episode 57 on journaling, you know I'm a big fan of it, and I always recommend this to my clients as well. Write down what it is you want to create. This can tie in nicely to the visualization exercise. What are the traits? What are the values? What are the skills? How are you showing up? What are you feeling? What are you saying? Write it all down.

The writing of it is a powerful tool as well. It crystallizes it. It brings it to your attention and it focuses your brain again on what you want to create. So taking the time, do them both can be really powerful.

Finally, you can act as if, acting as if, imagine that you are already that person with that self image. Imagine that you already embody those traits. You are her, you talk like her, you feel like her.

Can you spend a few minutes each day, acting as if you are already her. The brain will want to close that gap. It doesn't know whether it is real or not, and when you're acting as if it doesn't know the difference. And so it will start to make that easier for your brain to embody. You will get more comfortable and it will become a pattern and a habit in yourself. It will become easier and easier as you go forward and go through your days. So self image is a really important part of the work that we do in coaching and in particular the work that I do with my clients.

You can see how the nature of your self image is so important to whether you can achieve success in your life and whether you will go after your goals and create the life that you truly want for yourself. Often we are stuck because we have this negative story in our heads about who we are and what's possible for us.

We allow it to unconsciously define what our capabilities and capacities are, but spending time uncovering what's going on unconsciously in our minds, unraveling it, and then deciding on purpose. Who we want to become, what our self image is some of the most powerful work we can do together.

And once you have that foundation, and this is the foundation of that relationship with yourself, which is the most important relationship you will ever have. You have that foundation. It carries you forward into growing and evolving and transforming yourself and your life into what it is you want.

So if you're interested in learning more, if you want to start doing that work of uncovering what's going on for you and what your self image is, I invite you to a private 45 minute coaching session with me. It's free and it's an opportunity for you to invest a little time in yourself and your life to uncover what your beliefs are and what your self image is and how you can start to change that for yourself. It's a great opportunity to bring any issue that you wish and get coached. I will also tell you about my three month coaching program, which is a bespoke program, helping women get unstuck. You don't have to play small or hold yourself back any longer. I can help you take your life to the next level.

All right, that's what I have for you today.

Thank you so much for joining me.

If you're listening to this before February 17th, I will be offering a free masterclass on overcoming inaction. It is an opportunity for you to learn more about why you're not taking the action that you know you want to take in your life. We're all Falling prey to this in some respect or another. We're stuck in saying what we want to do, but not taking the action to actually do it. So come learn. We'll talk all about why you're doing this and how to overcome it. The link will be in the show notes and you can register for the Zoom webinar in advance. If you can't catch it live, I will be providing a replay for you.

Thanks everybody. Have a great week. Bye-Bye.

Thank you for listening to This Daring Adventure podcast with your host Trista Guertin. We hope you enjoyed the tips and conversations on how to get excited about life again.

As always, you can head to tristaguertin.com for additional resources and to book a one on one coaching session.

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Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next time.